Greetings from Super Bowl Hell…

At least the 1st Circle, anyway. The Patriots are losing late in the second quarter, and the loudest guy in the sports bar I’m watching the game in is probably the biggest, most obnoxious, Ney York Giants fan on the face of the earth.

Of course, the Halftime Show hasn’t started yet, so I suspect Lady Gaga’s performance (aka: “implied political statement“) may cause me to drop one or two more Circles (possibly the 3rd Circle, as there’s a buffet).

And, if the Pats can’t pull off the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, I’m wondering which mainstream news outlet will proudly opine that they lost because:

(a) Tom Brady & Robert Kraft openly support President Trump,

(b) the AFC East is weak, or

(c) “global warming”

(which, frankly, wouldn’t surprise me, as they are already at the 9th Level ;-)

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, Games, Media | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

About those NFL Championship Games…

First of all, congratulations to the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons for their decisive wins last Sunday: It’s looking to be an exciting Championship game!

But, did anybody else notice that in each of those game the winning score was twice the losing score plus 2?

Or: 2x + 2?

On the 22nd of January?

It’s probably just a coincidence, rather than “Russian Hacking” or game fixing; and, I’m sure numerologists, mathematicians, and/or conspiracy theorists might be able to find other references to “2″ upon further research (which I’m not going to do ;-)

As for next week’s Super Bowl, I only want to see one “2″ – and by that I mean “12″ – win another Championship for the New England Patriots!

Thanks for reading! (and, GO PATS!)

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, Games, I'm Laughing!, Sports | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

My Hopes for President Trump

Now that Donald J. Trump is officially America’s 45th President of the United States, I want to offer my hearty and heartfelt congratulations. I also wish him the best during the next (hopefully) four years, as there are many groups with entrenched, vested interests who will work very hard to try and preserve them at the expense of his Presidency.

I applaud Obama’s gracious act (with perhaps just a touch of ego included, as is his habit) of offering Trump some advice – and fully expect the former (P)resident to speak out often and loudly whenever he believes Trump needs more “helpful advice”. However, I believe Trump could learn a lot not just from Obama, but from a number of former Democrat Presidents.

And so, here’s what I hope President Trump learns from past Democrat Presidents:

  • I hope that President Trump doesn’t kill thousands of innocent civilians with nuclear weapons…as Democrat President Truman did – twice – despite knowing the Japan was within days of surrendering.
  • I hope President Trump has enough respect for the Office – and more importantly his wife – to not commit adultery, especially in the White House…unlike Democrat Presidents William “BJ” Clinton and John F. Kennedy.
  • I hope President Trump doesn’t deny the legal immigration of law-abiding, productive people simply because of their nationality or religion…unlike Democrat Presidents Roosevelt (Jews), Truman (Germans), and Carter (Iranians)
  • I hope if President Trump promises military support to people fighting for democracy he keeps his word…unlike Democrat President Kennedy during the Bay of Pigs Invasion.

Of course, there are probably many more lessons Trump could learn from Democrat Presidents – but, I want to leave him plenty of time to Make America Great Again :-)

Thanks for reading!

Posted in History, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Here’s Your Trump Prescription!

With less than one week before the United States of America swears in Donald J. Trump as its’ 46th President, some of the people who voted for his campaign opponents – especially Hillary Rodham Clinton – might feel a bit unwell.

(And, by “some people”, I’m referring to Liberals, Progressives, Socialists, Communists, Illegal Aliens, Welfare Cheats, Self-aggrandizing Democrat Politicians, Global Warming Alarmists, most of the Hollywood Elitists, Obscenely-rich Globalists, “Basement Dwellers“, “Taco Bowls“, “Special Snowflakes“, “Community Organizers“, Wall Street Occupiers, Dead Chicago Voters, and, of course, Illegal Voters nationwide because “Every Vote Counts”…but, I digress)

It’s a feeling I can relate to: I honestly and completely believed in my heart the 2003 Boston Red Sox were going to win the ALCS against the “Evil Empire” New York Yankees – until, at the last minute, Manager Jimy Williams decided to keep Pedro Martinez in the game, which the Sox eventually lost in extra innings. The next day I called in sick, not because of my non-existent  hangover, but from the illness-inducing realization that just because I wanted the Sox to win, I believed they could win, I was praying they’d win, and that they were actually winning didn’t guarantee they would. (If you’re a Yankees fan, just substitute the 2004 ALCS to feel instantly worse.)

My day off gave me time to reflect and remember it’s just a game, everybody wants to win, there can only be one winner, the winner may not be you, there’s always another game, and it pays to be a good sport for the sake of the game – you know, all those things I learned as a kid from my parents and gym teachers. The kind of things some people may have forgotten.

So, if you voted for Hillary Clinton, who everybody-and-their-Mother believed would win the election hands down in a landslide, or you voted for Bernie “My Wife Bankrupted A College” Sanders, Jill “Bulldozer Graffitti Artist” Stein, or Gary “Where is Allepo?” Johnson, and your having problems coping with Trump’s victory, then I’ve got just the prescription for you:

Simply pick the symptom(s) which best describes you to discover your 2017 prescription for wellness.

If this Describes You…

…perhaps this remedy will help: (click image to enlarge)

Despite stating I’m a calm, passive, peace-loving Liberal, Trump’s election makes me want to scream, shout, show defiance, be completely uncooperative and subvert the political process and established laws until I get my way. Label for the "drug" TRUMTANTRIUM
After 40 years of the Clinton’s political intrigue, shady investments, adulterous behavior, failed foreign policy, theft of government property, and a bunch of mysterious yet timely deaths I find it difficult to act like a normal, moral, upstanding, responsible person. Label for the "drug" DECLINTOX
I simply can’t accept the fact that Hillary Clinton lost the election, even though she put sensitive government information on a personal server which was hacked, failed to campaign in Wisconsin and Michigan, exhibited numerous health problems, engaged in pay-for-play while Secretary of State, ran a shady “Charitable Foundation”, oversaw a failed foreign policy which destabilized at least four countries and resulted in the death of a US Ambassador, and wore pantsuits: Obviously, it was Russian Hacking! Label for the "drug" LIBSULOSTITOL
Liberals claim to embrace diversity, promote inclusion, champion equality, and practice tolerance, yet when Liberals stereotype me as being “Deplorable”, it makes me feel marginalized, excluded, and untolerated. Label for the "drug" DEPLORITOL
I’m almost at the point of a complete mental breakdown after watching how my Socialist candidate Bernie Sanders was systematically destroyed by the coordinated efforts of the Democratic National Committee, the Clinton Campaign, and the Mainstream Media! Label for the "drug" SANDERTORIUM
After eight years of Barack Hussein Obama’s targeting of Christians, Conservatives, Caucasians, Legal Gun Owners, the Police, financially successful people, conventional energy sources, and Israel, along with his failed foreign, health care, immigration, and economic policies, I’m feeling physically weak, emotionally drained, mentally frustrated, and economically less secure. Label for the "drug" BARRYUM
I want to Make America Great Again for every legal US resident regardless of race, color, creed, religion, sexual persuasion, or political affiliation – including those hypocritical Liberals – by helping to  protect America’s best interests, enforce immigration & election laws, reduce waste, fraud, and corruption, preserve our Constitutional Rights, and create more jobs. Label for the "drug" MAGA-nesium

Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These non-existent products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Thanks for reading!

(oh, and remember: those images are Copyrighted :-)

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, I'm Laughing!, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Phil Forecasts Final Finish For Fenway Fans!

Although I’m a BIG Red Sox fan, I honestly don’t take much interest in them until about 2 weeks before the season starts and my season tickets arrive I’ve finally finished my taxes: Sure, I’ll listen to a preseason game or two (or three), but frankly that’s about it until I settle into a seat at Fenway for my first game (I’ll be the one wearing the Red Sox snap back cap and screaming “He couldn’t hit the ground if he fell!”, or something equally annoying yet civil…but, I digress)

Once again my colleague and all-around-cool-guy Phil has approached my with his (apparently yearly) Red Sox prediction, which once again I’m only too glad to write down:

The 2017 Red Sox will win 94 games.

I must say it’s a more conservative prediction compared to his previous and rather ambitious ones (see here and here), but – added bonus! – he’s graciously supplied some justification:

On the negative side, Mitch Moreland, while a nice pickup at 1st base, wasn’t hired as a Big Papi replacement, and Sandy Leon appears to be regressing.

However, E-Rod, Barnes and Kelly look to do better in 2017, and the addition of Chris Sale in the starting rotation is a BIG plus (Ed: Although Phil, for the last 3 years the Sox have had a fantastic rotation on paper, but not so much during the year ;-) And, Andrew Benintendi’s performance last year – despite only playing a partial season – bodes well for 2017, even if he continues to play at his 2016 level.

The wildcard in all of this is Pablo “Panda” Sandoval: If he arrives slimmer, healthier, and more productive then he should – with Benintendi’s and Moreland’s help – make up for Papi’s departure. Basically, the season’s success depends on him.

Well, good luck Phil with your prediction! Now, I’m predicting Punxsutawney Phil won’t see his shadow on February 2: I want to watch some early-season Sox games without my winter gear :-)

Thanks for reading!

Posted in History, Ramblings, Sports | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment