There’s an Anecdote here somewhere…

  • If 93.8% of pregnant women who enter Planned Parenthood are not pregnant once they leave, then what “parenthood” is actually being planned?
  • The condo complex my fried lives in recently posted a notice which read in part “You must keep your pet at least 30 feet away from the building before urinating or defecating.” As my friend doesn’t own any pets they’re going to have a big problem in a couple of days. All joking aside, the bigger problem is that 30 feet from any building on the property is either another building, a paved parking area, or a small common park where pets aren’t allowed to “do their business” anyway. Given the property owner’s use of improper grammar I suspect it’s a problem they’ve yet to discover.
  • Mexico and Guatemala recently signed an agreement that provides anyone from Guatemala or Belize entering Mexico illegally a Regional Visitor Card which is good for 72 hours, after which Mexico will arrest and deport them back to their country of origin. I think it’s a great idea which the United States should immediately adopt: It sure would be a whole lot cheaper than the $4.2 Billion our President is asking for to take care of the parents of the Democrat Party’s future voters those unfortunate children of irresponsible parents who want to be sponsored for entry once their children become legal US Citizens (gosh, that’s too much cynicism even for me – but, I digress…) By the way, if you’re an US Citizen and want a 72 hour pass into Mexico you’ll need to provide at least eight documents and forms, along with some money, and then you still won’t be able to travel more than 13.5 miles into Mexico.
  • Did you know that the chances of you winning money from a lottery scratch ticket (roughly 1 in 4, or 25%, according to my local Lottery Agent) is about 3 times greater than actually getting a free airline flight using your frequent flyer miles (approximately 9%, according the Travel Detective)?
  • Am I the only one who finds it obvious that states having less restrictive gun possession regulations also have lower murder rates? (apparently not… my gun-owning acquaintances also find it obvious)

Thanks for reading!

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So Wrong: Immigrants got ALL the Jobs?!?

Here’s one of a number of disturbing statistics just released by the non-partisan Center for Immigration Studies (CIS) that was a whole lot funnier as a plot device for the animated show “South Park“:

“…since 2000 all of the net gain in the number of working-age (16 to 65) people holding a job has gone to immigrants (legal and illegal).”

In actual numbers, from 2000-2014 the CIS estimates the number of people holding a job increased 5.7 million for illegal aliens and legal immigrants, while the number decreased by 132,000 for non-immigrant – or “native” – Americans.

So, if you’re a legal immigrant, then “Congratulations!“. But, if you’re a “native” American, you might want to check out the entire report for all the rest of the disturbingly bad news.

Thanks for reading!

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Please help give Obama an Excuse!

He may not know how to pass legislation without an Executive Order, a golf course without playing it, or an opportunity to fund raise during a crisis, but there is one thing President Obama’s good at:

Passing the buck.

And now, thanks to you, Dear Reader, “there’s no excuse for Obama to have no excuse”©: Not when you use “President Obama’s ‘Excuse-O-Meter’” to help him out.

(Can't see it? Click the link below!)

Check out “President Obama’s ‘Excuse-O-Meter’” for yourself!

(A tip of the Red Sox cap to The People’s Cube for the original concept :-)

Thanks for reading!

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Keeping track of the Numbers

If the Obama Administration has trouble keeping track of:

do you think it just might be easier for the Obama Administration to keep track of the number of innocent people worldwide – and, American service men and women – who will be maimed and killed by the actions of five known dangerous terrorist leaders who were exchanged for a US soldier who allegedly deserted his post, declared jihad against America, and trained terrorists?

Perhaps we could get the FBI, NSA, or CIA to help with that.

Thanks for reading!

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Curious Conversations

I can’t figure out if I’m the only person who understands or the only one who doesn’t – and these two recent conversations certainly aren’t helping me resolve my internal dilemma:

At my local Dollar Tree: Two people stocking shelves, a man and woman:

Man: “I gotta get me another car.”
Woman:Another car? Didn’t you just get one?”
Man: “Yeah, but too many people know I drive it. Have you been to [the city]? Four people shot in the last couple weeks, it’s bad cops, man!”

At my local bank: Between me, the Teller, and the Manager:

Teller: “Have you tried our online banking and checking services?”
Me: “No, but speaking of that did you know Santander Bank will give me $20 a month if I use online checking and make three transactions per month with no minimum balance?”
Bank Manager (listening nearby): “Yes, but you still have to pay taxes on that money, it’s considered interest income.”
Me: “Of course, but taxes wouldn’t take 100% of that $240 per year. I’d rather have [your bank] give me more interest than see your ads during sporting events.”
Bank Manager: “…and, besides, we have better customer service.”
Me: “Customer service? If I use online banking and your ATMs, then you don’t need this teller, and I prefer talking to a teller than a automated help line, faceless website, or customer call center based hundreds of miles from here. And, if you get rid of tellers, you should give me more interest on my bank accounts.”
Teller & Bank Manager: (Speechless)

Thanks for reading!

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“Two and a Half Men” Creator is Confused

Chuck Lorre, known for running a “Vanity Card” at the end of each of his television sitcoms, posted an interesting confession at the end of this Monday’s episode of “Mom” on CBS:

“I’m confused as to why a poorly designed website means affordable health care is a bad idea.”

Frankly, Chuck, I’m confused as to why your shows appear to use a laugh track if they are so well written – even if it is an actual live  audience. But hey, this isn’t about MY vanity: My website might attract about 100 people a month – a number that’s probably negative if I don’t include hackers, spammers, web bots and the occasional misdirect…but, I digress.

As I’ve stopped watching “Two and a Half Men” since Charlie Sheen left quit was fired I’ve managed to free up an extra 22 minutes this week, so let me try to clear up your confusion by posing a rhetorical*:

If the Democrat Party Obama Administration United States Government isn’t even smart enough to:

and, after knowing all of that months before their legislated deadline for implementation,

…then how can that same Government even begin to correctly and efficiently design, run, secure, track, manage, deliver, and improve a health care system representing 17% of the USA’s economy?

It’s just that simple, and I hope this helps ease your confusion.

There’s no need to thank me, Chuck; however, if you’d like to perhaps you could write an 26-part episode where ObamaCare is used to reanimate Charlie Harper remains after his untimely and gruesome death? I’m guessing it would be comedy gold!

(oh…, and speaking of that same Vanity Card, yes, Chuck, you should stop writing your “freekin’ vanity cards”)

*although, if you’d like to provide an answer I’d be both awed and thankful :-)

Thanks for reading!

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A Soldier’s Last Letter from South Vietnam

26 Jan 68

“Dear Dad,

I am no longer on alert. I’m in the northern part of South Vietnam and my two teams have set up an important Tropo [mobile troposhperic scatter microwave radio communications terminal, or "Troposcatter"] site. All is well, but I have been finally convinced that the Signal Corp does not always find itself in ‘a safe and beautiful’ location. I have been eating “C” rations for the last 10 days and have not take a shower in 7 days. I’m in Khe Sanh supporting the Marines with Communications. I wrote a letter to [my wife] last Saturday night but I don’t think she’ll receive it since the post office got hit during the mortar and rocket attack Sunday. If she does not receive it she will not know where I am, which is good. I will mail her a letter tomorrow telling her that I am somewhere north of Nha Trang. If all goes well my team will have done a great job in contributing to the turning point in this war. I have 5 men with me, 1 SPC 5 and 4 SPC 4′s. We will be here until we accomplish or mission or until there is no possibility of completing it. Please don’t tell [my wife] where I am if she doesn’t know yet. She will only worry. Eight more months and I’ll tell you what the Signal Branch is really like, especially in Vietnam.
Things are OK with me. I thought I should tell someone where I am.

Love, Rod”

2 Feb 1968

“…I’m on the other side of he base discussing avenues of [Communist North Vietnamese enemy] approach from my area. Two rockets chug over us like freight trains. I crouch with the assistant S-3 as they hit [the main Army bunker]…
‘Goddamn it, Skipper. Goddamn it, he shouldn’t have died.’ His words seem so out of place. ‘I’m going to write to his wife.’ He looks to me for reassurance and approval.
‘What are you going to tell her, Lieutenant? That her husband is a hamburger sandwich?”
‘But he was a great guy. A first-class guy.’ He is almost choking.

‘Leave it be. Let her have her own dreams of him the way she wanted it to be.’

That doggie was just doing his job, like the rest of us. The world’s loss.”

-”Welcome to Vietnam, Macho Man – Reflections of a Khe Sanh Vet“, Ernest Spencer, U.S. Marine Corps, Corps Press; 2nd edition (July 1987), ISBN-13: 978-0961852900, pgs. 107-110

10 Feb 1968

“The memory of his service will be treasured by a grateful Nation because he has joined the long line of American soldiers who in times of national peril have given their lives for freedom and for peace. In Vietnam today, as on other fields in earlier days, we are defending the right of men to live in dignity and freedom.”
- Harold K. Johnson, General, United States Army Chief of Staff

15 Feb 1968

“Please accept my deepest sympathy on the death of your husband…
…The locale as well as the mission [he] was involved in is still classified, and I cannot give details as to either. I can say that [he] was fully aware of the danger involved in the assignment and accepted the assignment as his personal responsibility and privilege…he insisted on going to and remaining with the forward terminal to personally assure the correct organization and deployment of the team. This not only speaks of his devotion to duty, but of his personal convictions and strength of character.”
- William R. Crawford, Major, U.S. Army Signal Corps, Commanding

28 Feb 1968

“Mrs. Saltonstall and I lost our own son in World War II. We were proud of him, but felt his death keenly. So I can well understand your feelings now. But your husband’s action is helping, we hope, to create a more peaceful world in which our children and grandchildren may live in the days to come.”
- Leverett Saltonstall, 55th Governor of The Commonwealth of Massachusetts

1 August 1968

“Rod was on a mission to provide long-line communications to the Marines in Khe Sanh… The Marines in Khe Sanh, who also received many casualties, received the Presidential Unit Citation from the President of the United States for gallantry against a hostile force in Khe Sanh, Republic of Vietnam. [Rod and his] Tropo Team who supported the Marines are included in this award.”
- Owen J. Driver, Jr., LTC, SigC, Commanding

12 Dec 1968

“I have the honor to inform you that Rod has been awarded posthumously the Bronze Star Medal and the Purple Heart… Prior to his death, Rod was awarded the National Defense Service Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, Vietnam Campaign Ribbon and Sharpshooter Bade with Rifle Bar.”
- Kenneth G. Wickham, Major General, USA, The Adjutant General

[unknown date] 1969

“The U.S. Command said abandonment of the [Khe Sanh] base in the northwest corner of South Vietnam where U.S. Marines suffered more than 2300 casualties in a 77-day siege last Winter ‘is part of a new concept of mobile warfare being put into operation,’ below the Demilitarized Zone…

Because of the importance U.S. officers publicly put on Khe Sanh while it was under siege for 77 days last Winter, its abandonment is a propaganda setback for the U.S. But veteran observers of the war don’t think the American military position is reduced significantly.”

- “Khe Sanh’s Day Done – War Becomes Mobile, Base Being Abandoned“, Associated Press, Saigon [unknown date]

Summer, 2001

“Dear Ernie:

Read your most sobering book on Khe Sanh. All of the men who served there, both alive and dead, are truly American heroes. I cannot thank you enough for your honest description of Rod’s character in your book…

His wife remarried an Air Force Pilot a year after his death…”

Rod’s Dad, who served in World War II in the Pacific

As we celebrate Memorial Day with family and friends at parades, baseball games, and backyard barbeques, let’s not forget to give thanks and remembrance to all the military men and women who gave their last full measure of devotion in service to their country – and to all the service people and their families who sacrifice every day to keep our Nation – and countless millions around the world – free.

Thanks for reading!

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Three Good Arguments

Three good arguments that Jesus…

…was Black:
1. He called everyone “brother“.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn’t get a fair trial.

…was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin – and his Mother was sure He was God!

…was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

…was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

…was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked a lot about the Great Spirit.

…was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

…was a Woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do!

Thanks for reading!

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About “My” 2014 Boston Red Sox

How come when a sports team you like is doing badly your friends and colleagues refer to them as “your” team, but when they’re doing well they become “our” team (or even “their” team)?

With my friends and colleagues asking me why “my” Red Sox stink I figured now might be a good time to see just how bad the stink really is: So, courtesy of those great statisticians at I decided to compare the cumulative winning percentage of the Red Sox championship seasons – 2004, ’07, and ’13 – to their 2014 Season so far.

Unfortunately, for die hard Sox fans it’s pretty much what you’ve feared:

(Should be a nice chart right here!)

(as usual, click to embiggen)

Three things struck me about these results. First, how the Red Sox took different paths on their way to winning their three recent Championships: 2004′s prolonged slump during midseason, 2007′s dominance before the All Star Break, and 2013′s steady, consistent play despite fielding nine (?) free agents.

Second, that each of those three winning seasons started strong (look closely to see the ’04 and ’07 seasons started exactly the same through 10 games) – it’s a strength sorely lacking from the 2014 team, who as I write this are at .500 ball for the first time this season. While there are some recent bright spots – Middlebrooks’ return and Capuano’s excellent relief being two – the Sox starting pitching is having their post-All Star Break meltdown early, and their timely hitting of the 2013 post season has been rarely seen.

It’s too early to count the Sox out just yet – after all, they’ve come back from 3-0 with one strike left (twice!) against the Yankees in 2004, 3-1 against Cleveland in 2007, and against lights-out pitching by Detroit and St. Louis in 2013.

Besides (and, thirdly), the trend line appears to be moving in the proper direction – maybe the Sox will surprise us with a fourth path to becoming World Champions.

Thanks for reading!

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Things I didn’t know about Godzilla…

…but I suspect the screenwriters may have written into the script of his latest movie “Godzilla“, a Warner Brothers picture opening May 16, 2014:

  • …and, of course, all that oil from the BP “Deepwater Horizon” accident.
  • He doesn’t feel sorry for all those people killed – they were probably just God-fearin’, gun-totin’, flag-wavin’, hard-workin’, beer-drinkin’ Tea Partiers too brainwashed by Conservative media’s exaggerations to believe the Government really knows what’s best for them 100% of the time… like, when to evacuate the city.

I’m a big fan of the science fiction genre, which has always been a great medium for inserting subtle (or sometimes not-so-subtle) criticism of the world’s perceived problems and/or dire predictions of things to come if the world doesn’t move quickly towards a global utopia – whether or not such criticism/predictions are justified or even accurate. However, at the risk of being considered “old fashioned”, I prefer the science fiction of old, when the stories were simpler, the message subtler, and without the unbelievable special effects, excessively loud volume, and overbearing preaching of recent movie remakes.

Let’s see what this latest reboot of the Godzilla franchise has to offer.

Thanks for reading!

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