Double-barrelled Advice from the IRS

Might just be coincidence, but it’s no surprise to me that Joe “Comedy Gold” Biden and William “BJ” Clinton publicly support the purchase and use of shotguns: They don’t want to be targets of an IRS audit! ;-)

Internal Revenue Service, Feb. 2, 2010, Solicitation Number: TIRWR-10-Q-00023:
“The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) intends to purchase sixty Remington Model 870 Police RAMAC #24587 12 gauge pump-action shotguns for the Criminal Investigation Division. The Remington parkerized shotguns, with fourteen inch barrel, modified choke, Wilson Combat Ghost Ring rear sight and XS4 Contour Bead front sight, Knoxx Reduced Recoil Adjustable Stock, and Speedfeed ribbed black forend…”

Vice President Joe Biden (D), Feb, 10, 2013:
“If you want to protect yourself, get a double-barrel shotgun. You don’t need an AR-15. You don’t need an AR-15. It’s harder to aim; it’s harder to use. Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.

President William “BJ” Clinton (D), April 30, 2013:
“..if you live in a city and you think you need protection in your home, you’re way better off with a shotgun than an assault weapon. Trust me. It’s not even close.”

Thanks for reading!

Posted in I'm Laughing!, Politics, Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sale Fail? Orange Soda, on Sale at Walgreens!

If you like Walgreens’ brand of orange soda, they’ve got it on sale until June 30th at a discount that’s not just incredible, it’s hard to find (click to enlarge, then look closely):

Was 99 cents...now only 99 cents!

(I’m guessing the deal is getting 5,000 points for spending $30 or more… just make sure you don’t purchase 30 bottles of soda: Otherwise, you’ll need those 5,000 points for this.)
Thanks for reading!

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, I'm Laughing!, Ramblings, The Economy | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Revealed: IRS Employee’s Desk Sign!

Here’s an actual desk sign*, rumored to be from a “low level” IRS employee’s desk somewhere in Ohio.

(Uh Oh: There's no sign of the sign!)

(click image to enlarge)

Supposedly, this was done despite Employee Guidelines suggesting employees be mindful of expressing personal opinions at work so as  to not offend anyone. Hmmm… looks like there’s 14 buttons attached to the sign, but, hey, I’m not good at math.

Don’t worry, though – I suspect no one’s going to get in trouble for this: I mean, it’s not like any Senior IRS Officials knew about this… wait, what?

*Yep, it’s true…as for the rest of the story, not so much ;-)

Thanks for reading!

Posted in I'm Laughing!, Not Surprisingly, Politics | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finally: Limitless Wind Power!

Are you a proponent of “Green Energy(which was called “alternative energy” when I was studying Engineering)?

Think wind power isn’t being given a fair chance to prove itself?

Well, now there’s no need to concern yourself with a “seemingly-excessive” number of wind towers ruining a lovely view, killing millions of birds and bats annually (and, the occasional maintenance worker), causing distress to nearby residents and possibly destruction of property and property values as they struggle to extract power from a highly variable wind whose peak availability may have been grossly overestimated, only to eventually litter the landscape at the end of their 10-15 year working life (or, when the subsidies finally run out) after helping to increase global warming.

Why? Because an inexpensive science kit created by Vibe Essentials and found at Five Below has shown us the way to LIMITLESS WIND POWER which will obviously outweigh all those perceived “negatives” of wind power!

The concept is deceptively simple: Take an ordinary wind turbine, add a solar collector connected to storage batteries located in the base of the tower, hook the batteries up to the turbine’s motor-generator set, and “Voila!“, you’ve got a wind turbine that never stops spinning!

Now, not only can you have a wind tower spinning with 100% availability, but you’ll be utilizing wind, photovoltaics, and electrochemical storage synergistically to keep the planet green – plus, the added bonus of impressing all your friends while disproving all those naysayers (like, for example, the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics…but, I digress).

Solar Fan, from Vibe's "6-in-1 Solar Kit"

(Click to enlarge)

However, you better act fast: Those “Vibe Essentials 6-in-1 Solar Kits” are going fast at Five Below!

Now, if we could only find a solution for High Speed Rail in this country… well, I’ll be darned!

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, Environment, Ramblings, Technology | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life’s a Game…

…and, apparently, it’s not just a saying (or, is it?), but also an actual award-winning game:

Click here to play "Life's a Game"

(Click the banner to load the game)

Find out more about the game’s author here, and…

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Computers, Games, Ramblings | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

My “Pipe Dream” Comes True!

In 1989 LucasArts released “Pipe Dream” for the Macintosh, a game with a simple yet entertainingly addictive goal: Using randomly-provided straight, curved, and intersecting pieces of pipe, create a pipeline long enough to carry an inevitable flow of “flooz”. Each successive level of the game required you to build longer pipelines in less time, eventually making you direct “flooz” to a specific destination while avoiding obstacles – otherwise, it was “Game Over”.

When Lucas Arts stopped making the game for the Macintosh*, others variations – notably MacPipes and Flood Control (available as part of this CD) - stepped in to fill the void, and satisfy my desire to continue playing the game as I upgraded my Macs.

Despite casually playing the game off and on for years I’ve never completed a level where every single space on the game board was filled with a game piece… that is, until Saturday, April 27, 2013 at 2:28:40 PM while playing “Flood Control”:

Screenshot: Perfect gamboard in "Flood Control"

(Click to enlarge, if you must)

Oh sure, this accomplishment isn’t as impressive as reaching Level 85 in “World of Warcraft”, as satisfying as finally completing “Dark Souls” on the PC, or as funny as realizing the secret to “Castle Roodpart” in “Dragon Scuffle”.

Nevertheless, this confluence of the game’s algorithm, my skill, and Lady Luck brought a smile to my face. Now, if I could only do it just one more time… or, maybe transfer this “skill” to the lottery, or some such thing like that there ;-)

*BTW: In fact, as of 04/03/13, Lucasfilm’s new owner, Disney, closed down LucasArts and laid off it’s employees; however, they’ve apparently licensed their successful “Star Wars” game series to Electronic Arts.

(All trademarks and registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.)

Thanks for reading! (and, happy gaming!)

Posted in Computers, Games, History, Ramblings | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Review: Pinball 8.0, by baKno Games

Pinball 8.0, by baKno Games, brings arcade pinball to your computer or handheld device, and let’s you create and share your own pinball tables with it’s built-in editor.
Likes: Very entertaining; Lots of tables included; Easy to use table editor; Free trial version; Low price; Runs on Macs.
Dislikes: Some included tables are too simple; Trial version nearly useless; Distracting Multiball feature; Selection of pinball parts could be better; Minor editing glitches.
Platforms: Apple OS 10.6.6, Windows XP, iOS 4.2, Android 2.2, or higher.
Price: From $0.99 to $7.95, depending on platform, how you play, and number of licenses.
Bottom
Line:
Pinball 8.0 is very entertaining for the casual player and pinball purist alike. Anyone wanting to design and share their own pinball tables, especially on Apple computers, will find the Editor alone is easily worth the price. However, if you only want to play pinball, or play tables as close to  authentic as possible, there are many and better pinball apps available for free or similar cost.

It’s safe to say I’m a big fan of pinball: I’ve been to lots of arcades, owned just about every pinball game made for Macs, participated in pinball competitions, and even have an arcade pinball machine sitting in my living room just in case the urge to play a game suddenly strikes me. In fact, I ‘d love to design pinball tables for a living; but, with only one full-fledged pinball company still in business today – Stern Pinball, Inc. of Chicago IL – and one newcomer on the block – Jersey Jack Pinball of Lakewood, NJ – the number of available job openings is virtually non-existent.

Recently I spent a little time with Pinball 8.0, by baKno Games (pronounced “bah-KAY-know”). Based in Florida, baKno Games caters to the casual gamer, and offers over twenty games covering a wide variety of interests. Originally known as “MacPinball”, version 8.0 has been “redesigned from scratch” and includes a pinball table editor, allowing you to create your own tables.

Pinball 8.0′s three screens allow you to play a table, edit a table, and adjust the play settings. In fact, in many ways it’s reminiscent of the classic 1986 Macintosh game “Pinball Construction Set” by Bill Budge I played on the Mac SE/30, and I was pleased to see baKno continue the long tradition of pinball games spawned by Bill Budge’s groundbreaking program.

Source: baKno Games

On the Apple MacBook Pro I used, playing the game was delightfully entertaining, with graphics, features, sounds and physics much closer to an authentic pinball table than to simpler, cartoonish pinball games:  It has a look and feel that’s great for handheld devices, and should appeal to “tweeners” and pinball enthusiasts alike. The game includes ten tables created by baKno plus access to over 30 user-created online games, with the designs ranging from simplistic to challenging – all accompanied by a large selection of upbeat and catchy electronic background music to keep the tempo elevated and the play fun.

The only downside to game play is the Multiball feature: When activated the view zooms in on the captive ball, the entire table slowly rotates horizontally 360 degrees, and the two pinballs ejected in mid-rotation, making it almost impossible to keep both balls in play as you’ve lost sight of the flippers. It would be better to either remove the visual effect or wait until the effect is completed before ejecting the pinballs.

The game’s Editor mode is quick to learn and easy to use: Just drag the pinball part  of your choice to the location on the table, rotate it to point in the direction you want, and select how it looks. And, an alignment grid plus the ability to rotate and magnify the table allows precise placement of any part. But be warned:  While you can build a complete, working pinball table in less than 30 minutes, building one that’s original, fun to play, and works smoothly can take much, much longer – just like designing a real arcade pinball table. The editor allows you to import you own custom artwork, and, once you’ve finished your design, share it with baKno at the push of a button. On the Apple OS, it’s possible to export your custom designs by accessing the folder “baKno Games” in the “Application Support” folder of your “Library” folder (although, you’ll need to use a program or Apple’s Terminal utility to make the Library folder visible first). Clearly, the Editor feature is the game’s strongest selling point, and if your idea of fun is to create and play lots of tables it’s worth the price of the game all by itself*.

One of my baKno pinball table designs.

"Your table is ready"

However, the Editor is not without some limitations. The playfield is wider than the 19″W x 41″L playfield of a standard pinball table, making the default flipper spacing too wide. While the available selection of pinball parts will satisfy nearly everyone, adding a one-way gate, a straight rail of adjustable length, and a post would permit a wider variety of designs. Placing tunnels or pop-ups right next to each other occasionally caused one of them to malfunction. Finally, placing a part on the table sometimes disabled the parts menu: It’s unclear if there’s a limit to the number of parts a table can use or it’s a software glitch, but in most cases saving your design and restarting the program fixed it.

Unfortunately, the game’s Trial mode is a major disappointment: Unlike other pinball apps, which let you download and play one table for free and then charge you to unlock more tables, features, or artwork, Pinball 8.0 only allows you 5 to 10 seconds of play before the game ends. It’s hardly enough time to appreciate the game, but fortunately there is a workaround, at least on Macs: Select the Editor, load a pinball table, and click the play button – you’ll be able to play one ball for as long as you can keep it in play. When you lose the ball, click the play button again to play another ball. If it’s possible, perhaps baKno should consider offering a fully-functional free table to persuade players to consider purchasing the full game.

Should you choose to purchase the game, baKno allows you to pay-as-you-play by buying “Game Coins” you use for each play – just like a real pinball machine. Or, you can purchase a license allowing unlimited play, multiple installations, or both. Their “Unlocker” software is claimed to make unlocking the software easy and quick; however, I can’t verify it as I didn’t purchase the game.

Kudos to bakno for reviving and modernizing the classic “Pinball Construction Set”. The look, feel, and play of Pinball 8.0 should satisfy baKno’s target market of pinball enthusiasts looking for casual play – I certainly was very satisfied. The Editor is easily the program’s strongest feature, and great for anyone wanting to create and share their own pinball tables quickly and easily. However, if you don’t use the Editor, or you want a more authentic pinball experience, then consider one of a number of other pinball apps available for free or at similar or lower cost.

*However, if you want to design a pinball table that’s as realistic as possible and aren’t intimidated by a steep learning curve, check out “Future Pinball” – it’s free, but only available on Windows.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Computers, Games, History | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Watch the World’s Smallest Movie!

What to you get when you take a bunch of big-brained scientists trained in STEM (that’s “Science, Technology, Engineering and Math”) and add a STEM (short for “Scanning Tunneling Electron Microscope“) capable of moving individual atoms around?

You get the world’s smallest movie: “A Boy and His Atom” *

The science website TechNewsWorld describes how this 242-frame cinematic wonder was made. It’s just one movie in IBM’s fascinating and informative “Atomic Shorts” series.

*Could this be a clever nod by the IBM scientists to the movie “A Boy and His Dog”, a sci-fi cult classic about a boy, Vic, and his telepathic dog, Blood, who roam an Earth ravaged by an atomic war and discover an entire society living underground? But I digress…

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Computers, Ramblings, Technology | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

North Korea should Nuke New England?!?

That’s the sage advice given to North Korea by Buffalo Bills’ wide receiver Steve Johnson, who tweeted:

@StevieJohnson13: “War is nothing to be played with. I apologize North Korea…….but if y’all do bomb 1st… Bomb Foxboro, Mass. Sincerely, #BillsMafia”
Now, before New England Patriots fans turn their ire towards Mr. Johnson (oops, too late), they should remember that the Buffalo Bills are the only NFL team to lose four consecutive championship games, from 1991-1994.

Sounds to me like Buffalo has already had their nuclear winter… their lake effect snow, frigid winter temperatures, and industrial decay notwithstanding.

Oh… and why Steve’s apologizing to North Korea is completely beyond me.

Thanks for reading! (and, Go Pats!)

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, History, Ramblings, Sports | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Easter!

Due to an excellent Easter Sunday dinner with the family my posting is a little late, but it’s still genuine and heartfelt: A Happy Easter and beautiful Spring to one and all!

…and, by “one and all” I mean everyone, even the 5% or so who declare themselves Atheist and the 40% or so who claim they are “not a religious person”, according to a recent WIN-Gallup International poll discussed here.

Oh, and for those 40%, while you’re basking in the springtime sun why not consider choosing a religion? Here’s a handy flowchart to help you out:

(A cute flowchart should be here...sorry!)

(click to enlarge)

Source: Unattributed work, earliest reference found using Google was Jan. 5, 2012.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in History, Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment