The 12 Delays of Christmas

I want to wish everyone (especially the few who read this site ;-) ) a very Merry Christmas full of friends, family, food, and fun, and best wishes for a new year of peace and prosperity.

And, if you wake up Christmas morning and discover Santa didn’t leave any gifts under the tree it’s probably not because you’ve been a naughty girl or boy: Just sit back, relax, and celebrate the 12 Delays of Christmas while you wait for Santa to arrive!

The Twelve Days Delays of Christmas

  1. A big red entity in charge of a large number of underpaid, overworked, height-challenged workers making cheap disposable goods all year round? Isn’t that China?
  2. Russian President Vladimir Putin invaded the North Pole for the mineral rights
  3. Still moving to the South Pole, where the ice mass has been steadily increasing for the past 30 years.
  4. Elves now unionized, won’t work for less than $15/hour
  5. Still trying to figure out gift delivery by drone
  6. Too many injuries from those “Reindeer Games
  7. Apparently, Rudolph has a drinking problem
  8. FAA ruled an airborne sleigh carrying all those gifts poses a flight risk
  9. Cleaning up after eight flying reindeer while driving proving to be too difficult
  10. Technically, Santa’s an illegal alien
  11. White snow? White Christmas? A White Santa? With a White beard?!? That sounds racist!!!
  12. Two words: “Global Warming

Merry Christmas to all!

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