With less than one week before the United States of America swears in Donald J. Trump as its’ 46th President, some of the people who voted for his campaign opponents – especially Hillary Rodham Clinton – might feel a bit unwell.
(And, by “some people”, I’m referring to Liberals, Progressives, Socialists, Communists, Illegal Aliens, Welfare Cheats, Self-aggrandizing Democrat Politicians, Global Warming Alarmists, most of the Hollywood Elitists, Obscenely-rich Globalists, “Basement Dwellers“, “Taco Bowls“, “Special Snowflakes“, “Community Organizers“, Wall Street Occupiers, Dead Chicago Voters, and, of course, Illegal Voters nationwide because “Every Vote Counts”…but, I digress)
It’s a feeling I can relate to: I honestly and completely believed in my heart the 2003 Boston Red Sox were going to win the ALCS against the “Evil Empire” New York Yankees – until, at the last minute, Manager Jimy Williams decided to keep Pedro Martinez in the game, which the Sox eventually lost in extra innings. The next day I called in sick, not because of my non-existent hangover, but from the illness-inducing realization that just because I wanted the Sox to win, I believed they could win, I was praying they’d win, and that they were actually winning didn’t guarantee they would. (If you’re a Yankees fan, just substitute the 2004 ALCS to feel instantly worse.)
My day off gave me time to reflect and remember it’s just a game, everybody wants to win, there can only be one winner, the winner may not be you, there’s always another game, and it pays to be a good sport for the sake of the game – you know, all those things I learned as a kid from my parents and gym teachers. The kind of things some people may have forgotten.
So, if you voted for Hillary Clinton, who everybody-and-their-Mother believed would win the election hands down in a landslide, or you voted for Bernie “My Wife Bankrupted A College” Sanders, Jill “Bulldozer Graffitti Artist” Stein, or Gary “Where is Allepo?” Johnson, and your having problems coping with Trump’s victory, then I’ve got just the prescription for you:
Simply pick the symptom(s) which best describes you to discover your 2017 prescription for wellness.
Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These non-existent products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Thanks for reading!
(oh, and remember: those images are Copyrighted