My Newsworthy Suggestion for CBS.

CBS, the “Tiffany Network”, is caught in an interesting ratings position: They’re rated first in total viewers overall, but dead last in evening news. (Wasn’t my fault, though: I haven’t watched any mainstream media news broadcast since the “big three” – ABC, CBS, and NBC – went from objectively reporting actual news events to advancing their own agendas through broadcasts thinly disguised as “news”… oops, I digress) Now, I’m no big network programing hotshot, but it seems CBS should inject the success of their nighttime lineup into their evening news.

Here’s my modest proposal: Combine “The Amazing Race” with “Survivor“, and call it “The Amazing Survivor“. The objective? Have multiple 2-member teams race around the world by traveling through various neighborhoods that are the polar opposite of the team’s ethnic, cultural, economic, sexual, and political attributes. So, if it’s a rich, successful, Caucasian, Christian couple, they’d be directed through places like Albany GA, Detroit MI (or one of many other cites in the USA), Cairo Egypt, select Mexican border towns, Occupy Wall Street rallies, etc. on foot or using public transportation, while being very well dressed but without adequate money, protection, directions, or technology (like a cell phone, GPS, or credit cards). Other obvious examples exist… but, hey, I don’t want to do all the work for the CBS executives, or be accused of some “-ism” or “-phobia”. The team that makes it to the finish line first without being incarcerated, hospitalized, robbed, assaulted, or killed outright is the winner. Oh… and no running, gambling, prizes, or studio audience allowed – I don’t want them infringing upon the movie “The Running Man“. However, make sure a news crew follows each team around constantly – I’m sure they’ll find plenty of newsworthy items to report between the weekly hour shows. It’s a win-win for CBS!

No need to thank me, CBS… but, a walk-on or cameo on the show “Two and a Half Men” sure wouldn’t hurt: It sure would be fun to meet Jon Cryer, he’s really is quite a comedic talent.

The author acknowledges any and all intellectual property held by CBS mentioned in this post.

Thanks for reading!

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