| Element Name: | Pelosium | Artist’s Concept |
| Atomic Symbol: | PU | |
| Atomic Number: | 311 | |
| Structure: | One Neutron 12 Assistant Neutrons 75 Deputy Neutrons 224 Assistant Deputy Neutrons |
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| Bonding: | Particles are held together by dark forces called “Morons” surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called “Peons”. | |
| Physical Behavior: | Pelosium’s mass increases over time as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere, leading to the formation of isodopes. This trait, called “Moron-promotion” by scientists, has led them to theorize Pelosium is formed when morons reach a certain threshold concentration level which is currently unknown and referred to as “Critical Morass”.
When catalyzed with money Pelosium activates two additional elements: MSNBCNNadnausium and Clintonobnoxium. These two elements each radiate more energy; however, the energy released is predominantly incoherent noise, since these elements have half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium. Pelosium is inherently inert as it lacks electrons, and can easily be detected as it impedes everything it comes in contact with. |
| Half-Life: | Pelosium has a normal half-life of approximately two years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a transmutation, appearing in a new location but displaying the same properties. In this process, assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies indicate each transmutation increases the atomic mass. |
| Handling & Safety: | Pelosium is inherently unstable and should be handled with extreme care to avoid the risk of a sudden release of random isodopes. Exposure to anti-morons cause Pelosium to become extremely toxic and corrosive, although these effects can be temporarily controlled by the precise application of Botox in sufficient quantity. Note that isodope exposure in sufficient concentration could result in severe injury to brain’s prefrontal cortex, resulting in a loss of critical thinking skills, tunnel vision, and incoherent, illogical outbursts among those affected. |
| Treatment: | There is currently no known effective treatment for the side effects of isodope exposure released from unstable Pelosium. |
Note: This is a modification of “Densest Element Yet Known To Science Discovered“, published March 7, 2017 by Dr. Rich Swier
Thanks for Reading! (and, remember to trust the “Siance“)
I think she spends more on booze in a month than I make in 6 months. I personally feel she is a drunken lush and should be removed from office forever.