| Note: | The following list is satire for entertainment purposes only. I have no personal knowledge of any preparations planned or in process by the US Government for the evacuation of their Embassy in the Ukraine. |
The Embassy of the United States of America
Kyiv, Ukraine
Embassy Evacuation Checklist
| Task | Status? | |
| 1 | Make sure each Senior Staff member can safely get out of the country | Done! |
| 2 | Protect all BLM and LGBTQ related materials but destroy all US Flags | Working…
|
| 3 | Collect any untraceable US Currency to take when evacuating. | Done! |
| 4 | Ensure the families and lovers of the Senior Staff are safe | Behind schedule Evacuation aircraft currently being used to resettle Illegal Aliens throughout the USA. |
| 5 | Prepare all Embassy passwords and code books for easy discovery | Working…
|
| 6 | Make sure all weapons, computers and critical electronics are left intact, undisturbed and unattended. | Working…
|
| 7 | Formulate an exit strategy for junior embassy staff and, for some, their families | On Schedule List of Junior Staff and family members friendly to the Biden Administration is being generated. |
| 8 | Leave lists of personal information of all locals who have cooperated with the US in the past, especially with the CIA | Working…
|
| 9 | Abandon panicked American citizens begging for help to get out of the country. | Pending Will execute this task when full evacuation begins. |
| 10 | Write status updates and press releases describing the great job performed by the US Embassy Senior Staff, US State Department, and the Biden Administration to achieve a successful draw down and evacuation. | Done! |
Thanks for Reading! (and remember, this post is satire!)
