The Revised “Elexicon”! (2022)

Well, the 2022 Midterm Elections have come and gone, and while voters were not able to decide if America’s most powerful victim of potential Elder Abuse should remain in office there were still some “Voter Irregularities“. So, once again, it’s probably a good time to update the lexicon that takes typical and every-growing examples of “voter irregularities” and conveniently expresses each using a single word.

Presenting another revision of my Election Lexicon…or, as I call it:

The “Elexicon”(2nd Revision)
Word State Definition
Arenarhea GA Thousands of ballots suddenly appear from nowhere in the counting room, preferably while no official election observers are present.
Bridgeported CT Ballots are photocopied when there aren’t enough.
Cuyahogtied OH Voting machines fail, causing long lines at polls.
Denverted CO Diverting voters to less crowded polling places during periods of heavy voter turnout.
Doralater FL Telling early voters to come back later after they overwhelm a polling location.
Fairfaxified VA Keeping polls open hours after they’re supposed to close.
Georjoke GA Justice system within a state refuses to take action of alleged voter fraud.
Iawoe IA Problems created when a phone app designed to “help” with voting tabulation fails miserably.
Hamiltwoed OH Multiple voters cast multiple votes.
Lawrenced MA Passing out absentee ballots and instructing people how to fill it out for your candidate.
Maricanta AZ Voters forced to put ballots into a “secure box” after electronic ballot scanners suddenly fail right before the polls open.
Maloroni NY Rich Liberal Democrat telling their poor constituents how to stretch a dollar due to the repressive policies of Democrats.
Michadelphia MI One candidate suddenly gets tens of thousands of votes while their opponent gets none.
Oregone OR Changing a voter registration from “GOP” to “Non-Partisan”, thus denying them from voting in the GOP Primary.
Pewaukounted WI Voting machine fails to count a voter’s ballot.
Philadelphiarized PA 100% of the votes in a group of precincts “unexpectedly” go to one candidate
Philadelphide PA Number of registered voters almost identical to the total number of eligible voters.
Pueblopposited CO Voting machine switches your vote to the opposite candidate.
Shampain IL Computer servers tabulating electronic votes come under cyber attack on Election Day.

Here’s an example of the New Elexicon in use, to show just how convenient it is:

“When our polling place was Cuyahogtied, we Denverted, but began to Bridgeport as soon as we determined Lawrencing was taking place outside. In fact, the waiting line was so long and Pewaukounting so rampant that the Mayor authorized Fairfaxing. Remarkably, almost all of the polling places were Philadelphiarized: We really didn’t even need to Hamiltwo or Pueblopposite!

Have you got another word that would be right at home on this list? If so, let me know!

Thanks for reading!

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