The Revised “Elexicon”! (2022)

Well, the 2022 Midterm Elections have come and gone, and while voters were not able to decide if America’s most powerful victim of potential Elder Abuse should remain in office there were still some “Voter Irregularities“. So, once again, it’s probably a good time to update the lexicon that takes typical and every-growing examples of “voter irregularities” and conveniently expresses each using a single word.

Presenting another revision of my Election Lexicon…or, as I call it:

The “Elexicon”(2nd Revision)
Word	State	Definition
Arenarhea	GA	Thousands of ballots suddenly appear from nowhere in the counting room, preferably while no official election observers are present.
Bridgeported	CT	Ballots are photocopied when there aren’t enough.
Cuyahogtied	OH	Voting machines fail, causing long lines at polls.
Denverted	CO	Diverting voters to less crowded polling places during periods of heavy voter turnout.
Doralater	FL	Telling early voters to come back later after they overwhelm a polling location.
Fairfaxified	VA	Keeping polls open hours after they’re supposed to close.
Georjoke	GA	Justice system within a state refuses to take action of alleged voter fraud.
Iawoe	IA	Problems created when a phone app designed to “help” with voting tabulation fails miserably.
Hamiltwoed	OH	Multiple voters cast multiple votes.
Lawrenced	MA	Passing out absentee ballots and instructing people how to fill it out for your candidate.
Maricanta	AZ	Voters forced to put ballots into a “secure box” after electronic ballot scanners suddenly fail right before the polls open.
Maloroni	NY	Rich Liberal Democrat telling their poor constituents how to stretch a dollar due to the repressive policies of Democrats.
Michadelphia	MI	One candidate suddenly gets tens of thousands of votes while their opponent gets none.
Oregone	OR	Changing a voter registration from “GOP” to “Non-Partisan”, thus denying them from voting in the GOP Primary.
Pewaukounted	WI	Voting machine fails to count a voter’s ballot.
Philadelphiarized	PA	100% of the votes in a group of precincts “unexpectedly” go to one candidate
Philadelphide	PA	Number of registered voters almost identical to the total number of eligible voters.
Pueblopposited	CO	Voting machine switches your vote to the opposite candidate.
Shampain	IL	Computer servers tabulating electronic votes come under cyber attack on Election Day.

Here’s an example of the New Elexicon in use, to show just how convenient it is:

“When our polling place was Cuyahogtied, we Denverted, but began to Bridgeport as soon as we determined Lawrencing was taking place outside. In fact, the waiting line was so long and Pewaukounting so rampant that the Mayor authorized Fairfaxing. Remarkably, almost all of the polling places were Philadelphiarized: We really didn’t even need to Hamiltwo or Pueblopposite! ”