In case you didn’t know today is President Donald J. Trump’s birthday: Happy Birthday, President Trump!
Most people probably aren’t aware of that fact, perhaps because they’re Liberals, Leftists, Progressives, Socialist, or Democrats who probably wish he wasn’t having one, the anti-Trump media who wouldn’t report it as he’s younger than Joe Biden, RINOs who don’t want to draw any attention to him, or families trying survive in Joe Biden’s dismal economy.
So, let me take this opportunity to once again wish President Trump “Happy Birthday”, with health, wealth, and the time to enjoy them both.
And, let me also take an opportunity to contemplate what I think Democrats, Progressives, Liberals, Socialists, Communists, RINOs, the Liberal Media, and Hollywood actors might consider appropriate birthday gifts they’d like to give him:
Presenting, without further introduction…
| Important Note: I am not affiliated with and make no money from any of the items, retailers, or links shown below. This list is for entertainment purposes only. | |
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• Never Ending Indictments What’s better than one indictment? Why, a never-ending stream of indictments! It doesn’t matter if the accuser forgot most of the specific details, damaging evidence was fabricated or unsubstantiated, laws were changed to specifically target one person, the charges had little to do with the accused, or an indictment would never have been served if the person was a Liberal, because it’s Trump and by golly it’s his Birthday! It’s just that simple, because Democrats are expert at putting the “dic” in “indictment”. |
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• Judge Dredd Action Set: Specialist Judges In the popular 1977 science fiction comic book Judge Dredd climate change forced people to live in giant “Mega-Cities”, causing vast overcrowding, scarce resources, and endless criminal violence. With law enforcement officers hopelessly outnumbered by criminals a law tribunal gave the officers power to be enforcer, judge, jury and executioner all in one, with all information about everyone available to every Judge at any time. And Judge Dredd was the most respected judge on the street: A fair, no-nonsense, by-the-book, incorruptible Officer of the Law. With Progressive Democrats telling us Climate Change will soon destroy the planet, moving us ever closer to a surveillance State, proposing “15 Minute Cities” to help save the environment, and practicing a two-tiered Justice system, giving this gift to a man who fights to protect the US Constitution, Individual Rights, Freedom of Choice, and National Sovereignty would be both thoughtful and timely. |
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• Orange Twill Coveralls Remember when Trump was elected President and Liberals coined the phrase “Orange Man BAD!“? Gosh, those were the halcyon days, that’s for sure! And while Martha Stewart probably didn’t deserve them, Nancy Pelosi might, Hillary Clinton almost certainly does, and Jeffrey Epstein wouldn’t be caught dead in them, I suspect almost every Liberal, Progressive, Socialist, Communist, and Democrat would give away YOUR last dollar to see Donald Trump in a set of brand-new, nicely-creased orange coveralls. Now I’m no tailor, but assuming Trump’s about, 6′1″ and weighs 240 pounds I’m guessing he’d wear pants with a 36/38 inch waist and 32/33 inch inseam. So, perhaps for a comfortable fit a size XXL Jumpsuit might suit him just fine if he loses one of his suits (See what I did there? Clever!). |
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• Dr. Scholl’s Massaging Gel Insoles It’s no secret President Trump loves to golf on one of his 19 golf courses worldwide, likes to travel almost non-stop his campaigns, enjoys trips to foreign countries, and has appeared numerous times in court to answer subpoenas, be arraigned & booked, testify on his own behalf, and maybe even think about all his accusers who believe they can try to railroad him. What better gift to give The Donald than a pair of Dr. Scholl’s Energizing Comfort with Massaging® Gel Insoles? It’s a thoughtful gift “Clinically proven to provide superior, all-day comfort”. (BTW: Trump is rumored to have size 12 feet. You’re welcome!) Handy Tip! Hey Liberals, while you’re in the store why not pick up a pair of Dr. Scholl’s Heavy Duty Support Insoles for Joe Biden to replace the stability heels he seems to be wearing? Or perhaps a pair of Dr. Scholl’s Memory Fit® Insoles so that at least Joe’s feet can remember where to go, what to do, and, you know, “the thing”? |
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• Heavy-Duty Rope! If there’s one thing Liberal Progressive Socialist Democrats, their complicit media, the Deep State, RINOs, and Hollywood celebrities probably share is their obsessive desire to see President Trump “hoisted by his own petard“. Trump’s far too smart to blow himself up, so why not give him a colorful coil of braided rope? Thanks to double braiding this rope has a 5400 Lb breaking strength: More than enough to suspend Trump’s remaining life but no where near strong enough to pull America back from the Single-party, Centrally-directed, Socialist State the Democrats want to give us. Added Bonus! In celebration of Pride Month I’ve selected rope available in LGBTQQIAAP colors. How cute! |
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• Custom Made Electric Chair Say, Trump haters, as long as you’re dishing out some of America’s hard-earned money on comfortable Orange Twill Coveralls why not splurge and get the best President America ever had his own custom-fitted electric chair! After all, if electrocution’s good enough for South Carolina and Tennessee to reinstate it’s sure good enough for a former President, even one who may eventually be unjustly convicted of something by someone. Handy Tip! Trump really likes gold, but remember gold doesn’t conduct electricity, so only decorate the parts which aren’t directly touching his skin. |
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• The BiDen Watch Here’s clear proof Joe Biden has ties to China: A watch President Biden might find more difficult to read than a teleprompter. Unlike Joe Biden these watches have over twice the approval rating of our hapless President and can keep track of electrons better than Democrats kept track of electrons during the 2020 Elections. It’s a great gift for Trump, who no doubt likes to keep a tight schedule and would probably appreciate the (fake) gold band in the wristband, navy blue face (blue’s his favorite color!) and red-white-and-blue dial and compass points. And at $40 it’s affordable even by one of the 5,500,000 or so illegal aliens Biden allowed to cross into the USA and supplied with free room, health insurance, and welfare benefits. |
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• A Genuine Guillotine! Invented in the 1770′s and named after French Parliamentarian and physician Joseph-Ignace Guillotin (who convinced the French Government it was more humane than executing criminals by being burned alive, drawn and quartered, or simply hanged), they were used during the French Revolution’s Reign of Terror to decapitate over 20,000 people opposed to the Jacobin Government, most notably Queen Marie Antoinette, and eventually even the head of the Reign of Terror, Jacobin leader Maximilien Robespierre. Fast, painless, efficient, and not needing fossil fuels to operate (How “Green”!), I’m sure the Progressive Socialist Democrats could find one in President Trump’s neck size.. Did you know? The Jacobins were called the “Society of the Jacobins, Friends of Liberty and Equality” |
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• Poisonous Gas What works faster than the US Congress, can have a sickly-sweet smell, and comes in convenient containers? Why, lethal chemical gas! Used as a convenient means of dispatching enemies since 479 BCE (when Peloponnesian forces used sulfur fumes against the town of Plataea), America has been eliminating chemical weapons since 1969. Although ordinary Americans can’t purchase them (heck, it’s tough to buy dynamite, fertilizer, or fireworks), Socialist Democrats shouldn’t have a problem: After all, during World War I they created U.S. Army’s Gas Service Section, during World War II they stored it in a ship off Italy’s coast (resulting in many casualties when the ship was bombed) and stockpiled poison gas for their invasion of Japan, and during the Vietnam War they used Agent Orange to defoliate large areas of South Vietnam, to name a few examples. Hypothetically speaking, any anti-Trumper who wants to send some to Trump should disguise it as something ordinary, like placing some powder in an envelope used to serve an indictment. |
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• Fast Food Gift Cards President Trump already admitted he’s a man who thrives on 4-hours sleep a night, believes exercise is a waste of energy, doesn’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or do illegal drugs, and LOVES fast food. McDonalds, Wendy’s, Kentucy Fried Chicken, Burger King, Domino’s Pizza, Whataburger, you name it. A gift of Fast Food Gift Cards from various companies – preferably $100 – should be a no-brainer, even for a person of |
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(Note I am in not associated in any known way with any product or link shown on this page, and acknowledge the various Copyrights and Trademarks used throughout this article are the property of their respective holders.)
Thanks for reading! And, Happy Birthday President Trump!
