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Today we celebrate “Labor Day“, a national holiday proposed by union activists in 1892 and signed into law by Democrat President Grover Cleveland in 1894. Through the years our celebration has evolved from parades of proud union workers to a day of leisure involving backyards, beaches, barbeques, and booze. And I’ll leisurely participate, rest assured.
Naturally, before I said “Yes” to BBQ excess I did manage to labor just long enough to create a buffet of Memeories for you to savor. Bon appetite!
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Labor Day marks the unofficial end of Summer, so almost everyone wants to celebrate it outside in warm, sunny comfort. Perhaps the best way to guarantee good weather might be to name all potential tropical storms and hurricanes “Hillary“.
The popular phrase “pics or it didn’t happen” sure does apply on Labor Day: Otherwise, no one will believe your bragging about the size of the traffic jam, how much booze you drank, the fantastic crush you bonged, those hot chicks making out, that luscious babe you picked up, or how Uncle LEO harshed your mellow. FYI: The photo shows what happens when Nevada police decided they’d had enough of Climate Change Eco-terrorists blocking the only road to Burning Man 2023 and creating a 10-mile traffic jam. Watch the video to hear the terrorists ask if one of them got it all on video.
Now just because Labor Day was created by Americans for Americans to celebrate American labor doesn’t mean millions of illegal aliens can’t celebrate it as well: Here’s a gentle reminder to liberals who embrace inclusivity, open borders, “sanctuary cities“, and embrace expanding the Welfare State to let the millions of “undocumented immigrants” Democrats have allowed into America know where they can celebrate among friends.
What’s Labor Day without some tasty meat cooking on the charcoal or propane grill? We may never know, after Uncle-turned-Food-Scientist Fester Addams is done perfecting lab-cultured meat, and Joking Joe Biden has banned propane and wood burning stoves as threats to the environment. Better start learning to enjoy your fire-roasted bugs!
If you’re going to barbeque you’ve got to do it right! ‘nuf Ced
When I think “NASCAR” I think of back in the day when fast, loud, cars ran counter-clockwise in a frenzy while barely-clad babes and big-bellied bellicose Bubbas batter down Budweisers™ in the grandstands…with very few blacks but probably lot’s of “good ol’ boys” in attendance. Today, everything’s changed: Gasoline is bad, electric cars are silent, bikinis subjugate women, Bubbas are way-cyst, and Buds are “Woke” and going broke. I suspect NASCAR doesn’t want to be left out of the “Woke” parade because their Diversity Internship Program deliberately excludes Caucasians simply because of the color of their skin. On the bright side, expect to see more exciting stock car racing and impressive accidents as more and more black drivers graduate.
Did you know? “The founder of Anheuser Busch, “Adolphus Busch, refused to drink his own brew, calling it “that slop”…and stuck to wine.”
Speaking of sports, if some members of the United State’s Women’s National (Soccer) Team (USWNT) spent less time becoming “Woke”, disrespecting the United States, and receiving a much higher cut of World Cup total revenue than their male counterparts then they may not have had their worst performance in history at the 2023 World Cup Championships. Of course, with Progressive Liberals destroying the entire concept of everything that is “Women” and “Womenhood” we may not even have to worry about Women’s sports in the next few years.
When hosting a holiday gathering always be a gracious host by offering refreshments to your guests. Here’s a drink that’s sure to please any far-left progressive liberal democrats you were
foolishpolite enough to invite to your party: It’s a concoction that’ll have them shouting about “Climate change!” and screaming at the moon as you light your propane-powered flame pit after sundown.
What Labor Day celebration would be complete without a nice, cool, refreshing ice cream cone? Not Joe Biden’s, that’s for sure, as he stands in front of the boardwalk pavilion at his beach in Rehoboth, Deleware and explains the benefits of Bidenomics. (And be sure to enjoy your ice cream soon, before rich Liberals eliminate all the cows!)
And finally, thank you Joe Biden: Without you how would we celebrate Labor Day without thinking about the hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, charcoal, propane, ice cream, milkshakes, beers, Womens Sports, gasoline, and more of life’s conveniences which you and your fellow progressive liberal democrats are working so hard to eliminate in our future? By golly Joe, here’s your Certificate of Achievement for remembering to do all that, and go ahead and enjoy that third scoop of ice cream on your secluded beach near your private mansion, you deserve it!
Oh, and BTW: Pics or it didn’t happen!
Thanks for Reading!
