A belated “Happy Birthday!” to Joseph Robinette Biden!

Born November 20, 1942 in Scranton Pennsylvania, Joe was the 6th-youngest person to be elected a US Senator (at age 29), almost the oldest to be elected vice president (only five were older), and the oldest ever to be selected America’s president (at 77 years old). Biden has spent his entire professional career of over 50 years working as either a politician or educator. If “Big Guy” Joe Biden is re-selected (p)Resident of the United States he’d be America’s oldest president.

To (belatedly) commemorate his birthday, instead of singing”Happy Birthday!” I thought I’d mobilize truinnerashuvaduprezure and have us all sing him a special song!

“Tubthumping”
(with apologies to the band Chumbawamba, who wrote the original song)

Setting: Joe Biden, singing at the beach after a long day of speaking gibberish, quitting early, and collecting his 10%)

Truth is I thought it mattered
I thought that America mattered
But it doesn’t, bollocks!
Not compared to how Socialism matters

I’ll be singing
When America’s not winning
I’ll be singing

I’ll knock you down
And knock you down again
‘cuz I’m told I have to knock you down
You’ll get knocked down
And not get up again
‘cuz we need to keep you all knocked down

(Repeat)

Pissing your cash away
Pissing your lives away

I’ll sniff your kids today
Sell fossil fuels away
Take your guns away
And get my cut today
Thinking thoughts that remind me of my shower times
And how your money’s gonna bring me even better times

Oh Danny Boy
Danny Boy
Danny Boy

I’ll knock you down
And knock you down again
‘cuz I have to work to knock you down
You’ll get knocked down
And not get up again
‘cuz I’m making sure you stay knocked down

(Repeat)

Pissing your rights away
Pissing your lives away

I’ll fail at what to say
Fall up stairs today
Raise the debt today
Start a war today
While thinking thoughts I remember from a younger day
As I wonder why my brain doesn’t work today

Don’t cry for me
Next door neighbour

I’ll knock you down
And knock you down again
‘cuz I’m working now to knock you down
You’ll get knocked down
And not get up again
‘cuz Socialism’s gonna keep you down

(Repeat to fade)

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Bonus!
Watch the band perform their only hit on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

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Did you know?
The British punk band Chumbawamba, formed in 1982, only had one hit during their 30-year career. The song “Tubthumping”, released in 1997, talked about a lower-class bloke who spends his day struggling against the elites who want to keep him down and his nights drinking to forget his troubles so he can get up the next day and struggle again. It’s fondly remembered as a favorite of sports stadiums, especially when the home team made a comeback. While the band is long gone (they broke up in 2012, but their website lives on for now), the struggle of the lower classes against the rich and powerful Elites continues unabated.

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Original Song Credits:

Title: Tubthumping | Album: Tubthumper | Band: Chumbawamba | Released: 1997
Writers: Judith Abbott, Allan Whalley, Louise Watts, Darren Hamer, Nigel Hunter, Duncan Bruce, Paul Greco, Alice Nutter

Thanks for Reading! (and, for singing!)