Recently, news outlets like CBS News,  Newsweek, and even Fox News reported the Taliban – a Sunni Islamist nationalist and pro-Pashtun movement which has provided safe haven for al-Qa‘ida and conducted numerous insurgency attacks in Afghanistan – have promised to combat Climate Change.

Yep. Not Women’s Rights, Health Care, the Economy, Education, Poverty, Energy, Sanitation, Internet Access, Unemployment, or Illegal Drugs….but rather, “Climate Change“.

And I asked myself “Myself, what concrete steps might the Taliban take to actually fight Climate Change?” Perhaps stuff like this?

• Hang infidels with natural hemp or sisal rope and not with braided polyester clothes line

• Burn infidels they hang with gasoline but rather use powerful focusing solar concentrators

• Stone infidels with recycled rocks rather than man-made concrete to preserve the environment (How’s THAT for a “concrete step”?)

• Shoot infidels with bows and sharpened-stone tip wooden sticks and not lead-based bullets

• Paint the face of infidels with a soy-based black paint rather than oil-based tar

• Stop boiling infidels in oil and switch to using water superheated by photovoltaic power

• Drag infidels down the street behind electric vehicles

• Tie infidels to wind turbines blades and not utility poles

• Continue tossing infidels off of tall buildings…gravity is already “Green Technology”!

Feel free to add your own suggestions: After all, it’s to help preserve Mother Earth!

Disclaimer: Companies and Products mentioned in this post are not meant to imply or suggest use by or endorsement of the Taliban. Also, all actions mentioned in this post are abhorrent and should not be practiced by anyone, especially by a group known to engage in such practices.

Thanks for Reading!