In the wake of the horrific tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut there’s been an almost constant barrage of news stories calling for tighter controls on the sale and use of “assault weapons”, along with their magazines and ammunition. Consequently, there’s been a wide gamut of responses, from citizens concerned about gun violence, politicians screaming for action, panic buying by 2nd Amendment advocates, the NRA, and at least one law-breaking journalist trying to make a statement. And by Tuesday, January 15, 2013 Vice President Joe Biden will present gun control recommendations to President Obama based on his conversations with survivors, gun control advocates, gun groups, and retailers.

Regardless of Joe Biden’s good intentions, the recommendations he’ll advance won’t be anywhere near enough to stop future gun violence – because his focus is too narrow. As long as Liberal Democrats want to take a step closer to the elimination of the US Constitution’s 2nd Amendment (from a practical, if not legal, standpoint), why not consider adding these potential assault weapons of opportunity to the list? (Added bonus: None of these “weapons” enjoy the protection of the 2nd Amendment!)

	Nail Guns If it can shoot a 2-inch nail almost 4 inches into solid concrete, imagine what it can do to somebody’s hand, face or other body part. Actually, why imagine when the government reports an average of 37,000 reported nail gun injuries per year from 2001-2005. (Image: DeWALT Model D51321 Coil Nailer)
Captive Bolt Guns During 2010, approx. 35 million cattle were killed by some means for food. Bolt guns use high-pressure air to shoot an attached, sliding steel rod into the brain to kill animals who are terminally ill, infectious, or consumed as food. The guns may be quick and humane, but why not employ even more humane methods, such as the one used in “Soylent Green”? Or, just force mandate everyone follow a vegetarian diet? (Image: Accles & Shelvoke Model 4067-0027-.22 Cal. “Cash Special” Bolt Gun)
	Nerf® Guns Despite their use of a color scheme most people wouldn’t be caught dead in*, there’s probably still a one-in-a-trillion chance a law enforcement officer might mistake a Nerf gun for an actual firearm. The time to act is now! (Image: Hasbro’s Nerf N-Strike Elite “Rampage” blaster.)
Potato Guns Most kids will find this cute toy lots of fun…until someone puts an eye out! Let’s work together to change “It’s all fun until someone puts an eye out” to simply “It’s all fun” by taking these potentially dangerous weapons away from youngsters and teaching them how to make potato heads, potato clocks, or even potato gnocchi. (Image: End of the Commons General Store, Mesopotamia OH)
	Guns N’ Roses Possible hearing damage aside, guns fire bullets and roses have thorns! Besides, I’ve never been much of a “Guns N’ Roses” fan anyway: I even had to look up the proper spelling of their name. ‘Nuf Ced. (Image: Guns N’ Roses album “Lies”, from their official website)
Claw Hammers Yes, I know they’re not guns, per se, but did you know more people were killed with ordinary claw hammers – you know, the kind found in a home or garage – than with so-called “assault rifles” during 2011? (It’s true: 496 vs. 323, reports the FBI) And once those Nail Guns are banned they’ll be plenty more of these potential killers simply hanging around! (Image: Nupla 13 oz. Claw Hammer Model #17013 – one of 39 different ones available at The Home Depot)
	Index Fingers If you’ve got at least one hand with an opposable thumb then you’re already a implied threat to society! The only real policy decision lawmakers need to consider here is whether to amputate the thumb or index finger in order to eliminate this pervasive threat. But, like digital medical records, it sounds great in theory but may not work out in practice. (Image: uniquedaily.com, as quoted by The Breda Fallacy)
Disclaimers: Each product mentioned here is presumed to be in strict compliance with every applicable rule and regulation in force at the time of the product’s design, manufacture, marketing, and sale, and it’s the consumer’s responsibility to use them properly. And, any intellectual property associated with any product shown here is the acknowledged property of their respective holders.

Facetiousness on my part? Most certainly! And, it’s not a complete list.

While it’s easy and expedient to enact ever-tighter gun controls with the belief that violent crimes will subsequently drop, history teaches otherwise: Despite Chicago having the tightest gun laws in the country, over twice as many people have been killed by guns in Chicago than U.S. troops fighting in Afghanistan. Despite England’s ban on handguns in 1998, by 2008 handgun deaths doubled. And while the annual number of gun-related deaths in Japan can be counted on one hand, adopting Japan’s model in the USA would probably require the elimination of the Constitution’s 2nd and 4th Amendments.

Instead, let’s consider reducing the motivations for criminal use of guns in the first place by ensuring that only responsible people can obtain and use firearms, teaching kids to have a respect for and a healthy fear of firearms through education and training, better enforcement of existing gun laws, working to build a growing and successful private economy, and eliminating “class warfare” rhetoric.

*Oops..not the best choice of metaphor.

Thanks for reading!