A Little Trouble on Big Walton Mountain?

According to an article by Bloomberg’s Renee Dudley, published today, Jerry Murray, Wal-Mart’s vice president of finance and logistics told high-level executive colleagues in an email that month-to-date sales for February, 2013 is:

The worst start to a month I have seen in my ~7 years with the company…. That points to our competitive landscape, which means everyone is suffering and probably worse than we are.

Read much more in her (disheartening) article here.

Frankly, I’m hoping that Wal-Mart’s troubles stem from over expansion, striking workers, their business model, or smarter competition. Because if Wal-Mart actually is a bellweather for the Nation’s spending habits, it could find itself the inheritor of the old adage as General Motors goes, so goes the Nation

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna visit my local Wal-Mart and see if their aisles, which were widened during 2009 to “accommodate people in wheelchairs*” are still wide enough to drive my car through.

*This was the reason given to me by a WalMart associate at my local store when I asked sometime during 2009 why they were cutting back the length of their aisles.

Thanks for reading!

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XFINITY’s Unrewarding Loyalty

Where I live the competition for cable services is fierce: I’m routinely getting (junk) mail from AT&T, Verizon, Comcast, Cox, and occasionally Dish extolling a slightly different mix of their same old products with a slightly different sales pitch. With almost Pavlovian reflexiveness, those mailings go into the trash unopened…until I received one from Comcast with Spanish written on the envelope and containing Spanish-language flier pitching their “XFINITY TV MultiLatino Plus and XFINITY Internet Performance” bundle at a “Great Low price“.

Mind you, this flier still joined it’s brethren the trash, but not before I read the back – conveniently, in English – and noticed the “fine print” at the bottom:

XFINITY - "Fine Print" isn't so "fine".

(Too fine? Click to enlarge!)

Seems the longer you keep this “awesome” XFINITY bundle the pricier it becomes*.

  • 1-6 months: $49.95 / month
  • 7-12 months: $69.95 / month (a 40% increase)
  • Over 12 months: $29.95 (TV) + $51.95 (Web) = $81.90 /month (a further 17% increase)

So, your being a loyal customer for more than a year will cost you 63% more then when you had no loyalty to Comcast at all. I’m no marketing genius, but I always thought companies retained customers by rewarding them for continued business, giving them more for less, or tossing out some occasional swag.

No wonder competition is fierce…or, when it comes to the cable industry, maybe not.

*and, that doesn’t include “installation charges up to $500″, plus the usual monthly “franchise fees, Regulatory Recovery fee and other applicable charges”. No wonder the “fine print” is small!

Thanks for reading!

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A Calendar for Progressives

Throughout history mankind has basically relied on three calendars: The Lunar, Julian, and today’s Gregorian calendar. However, during the past few years I’ve noticed that Liberals and Progressives seem to work to their own calendar: Obama’s promise to close Gitmo during the 1st month of his Presidency? So far, Obama’s only closed the office responsible for closing Gitmo. The Democrat Senate passing a Federal Budget? We’ve been waiting for one since April 29, 2009. Doubling our exports within the next five years? Doesn’t seem likely. Heck, even implementation of ObamaCare is behind schedule.

The way I see it, either Progressives are really bad at making good on their promises, or they’re simply using a calendar vastly different from everybody else. So, on the off-chance it’s the latter,  and based on my observations of their behavior, here’s my best guess at the calendar they appear to be following:

The Progressive’s Calendar

Tues Wed Fri Fri Sat Sat EOD
8 7 6 5 4 3 2
15 15 14 12 11 10 9
22 21 20 19 18 17 16
29 28 27 26 25 24 23
30 30 31 32 33 34 35

Details:

  • Calendar days are numbered to address the fact Progressives want everything done “yesterday”. (For example, any work started on the 7th will be completed on the 5th.)
  • Each week contains two Fridays, so that Progressives can claim any work they said they accomplished was completed by week’s end.
  • Five new days have been added to allow for end-of-month, unexpected work defined by Progressives as a “crisis”. (For example: Global Warming, Gun Control, Sugared foods, or any Conservative Talk Show host)
  • Sunday and Monday have been eliminated, as Progressives are usually protesting on Sundays and hungover, strung out, or sleeping late on Mondays. However, to appease Public Unions there are two Saturdays to make it easier for them to increase their salaries and benefits, and load their pensions.
  • Eliminating the 1st of the month eliminates late delivery of last month’s end-of-month, unexpected “crisis” work.
  • To compensate for removing the 1st of the month, an extra 15th and 30th of the month have been added, thereby giving Progressives additional time to defraud the government’s welfare, Social Security, and grant systems.
  • A new weekday – Executive Order Day (or EOD) – has been created by Executive Order to ensure any desired work is performed on time without having to rely on or consider the will of the voters.
  • A new day – Negotiation Day (or ND), strictly defined as the 3rd Executive Order Day of each month – has been created on the rare chance bipartisan compromise actually takes place between Progressives and any other group, and to keep other days free for uninterrupted “crisis” work. Note should any compromise actually occur it can be overruled by Executive Order.
  • There is no 13th of the month, thereby making “Friday the 13th” impossible. This doesn’t affect any existing “Friday the 13th” movies.

Thanks for reading!

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Food for Thought

As of August, 2012, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, provided free food to approximately 46.2 million people throughout the United States.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, instructs us Please Do Not Feed the Animals. And their stated reasons? The animals will grow dependent on handouts, will not learn to take care of themselves, may beg or become a nuisance, and can become a safety hazard,

Shakespeare’s  Macbeth remarked “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Perhaps “Irony is a dish best served with an Australian table wine.”

Thanks for reading!

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Long Live ManRay!

From 1985 to 2005, anyone living within the Boston area and into the “underground scene” of alternative / industrial / nu-wave / goth / trance music had numerous nightclub venues to choose from: Spit, Metro, Venus Lounge, The Hub Club, The Cage at Molly’s, Lizard Lounge, 1270, ManRay, and a bunch of smaller clubs I can’t immediately recall.

Today, almost all are gone: The Underground at Molly’s, Venus lounge and 1270 are long expired, Spit / DV8 / Axis, along with The Metropolitan Ballroom / Metro / Avalon were razed to make room for House of Blues, and ManRay in Cambridge’s Central Square was torn down to build apartments. Boston’s “underground scene” isn’t quite dead, but it’s a far cry from those halcyon years for a number of possible reasons.

Alternative at Manray - 1996 Flyer

Two of my favorites were Spit/DV8 and ManRay: While each started on the musical fringe – Spit began as one of Boston’s first, if not the first, punk rock club – Spit evolved, eventually catering to patrons who lived in the mainstream but wanted to party on the fringe. ManRay patrons, however, were the fringe from day one, with ManRay simply a nightime venue to express it with relative abandon, and it continued that way for two decades – a distinction that made ManRay my favorite, if only to live vicariously as an entertained spectator mostly from the sidelines.

I could wax nostalgic about ManRay’s eclectic crowd, confluence of sexual orientations, cutting-edge music, outlandish shows, continuous dancing, cage dancers, wardrobe ranging from the prudish to delightfully (and, sometimes, obscenely) naughty, piles of leather coats, and the almost total lack of parking, but instead I’ll direct you to websites that do a much better – although by no means complete – job of describing it in words and pictures. Simply put, if you’ve experienced ManRay, no explanation is required, and if you haven’t, no amount of explanation would suffice.

So, while ManRay promises to eventually re-open  – the latest tease is “this summer” – it’s nice to read they’re having a “one-night reunion” at the Paradise Rock Club on Friday, February 1st, 2013 (After all, Spit’s already had theirs). If I’m not too tired, perhaps you’ll see me there: I’ll be the guy dressed in black standing in the corner with a vodka and ginger… and a distant, disconnected stare as I fondly recall ManRay’s – and, perhaps my – halcyon days.

Thanks for reading!

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Constitution “dead”? Yep. Journalism Dead? Maybe.

On Monday, January 28, 2012 Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and Southern Methodist University Law Professor Bryan Garner appeared at SMU to discuss their book “Reading Law: Interpretations of Legal Texts“. During the discussion, as Tasha Tsiaperas of the Dallas Morning News reports (subscription required), Scalia said of the US Constitution:

“[The U.S. Constitution's] not a living document. It’s dead, dead, dead.”

Understandably, plenty of Liberal and Conservative news outlets picked up this juicy quote, including MSNBC, Politico, The Hill, the Democratic Underground, Hot Air, and even the bastion of “Fair and Balanced”, Fox News. All ran the story with little or no additional detail or context: Almost as if to imply “dead” meant permanently gone, and after a period of mourning and eulogies, buried, fondly remembered, and eventually forgotten.

Problem is, with just a little bit more reporting, Ms. Tsiaperas could have added balance to the story by placing Justice Scalia’s seemingly sensational remark in it’s proper context. Not to tell a journalist how to perform their job, mind you, but something as easy as a 5-minute Google search* may have sufficed:

2012, Princeton University: “I have classes of little kids who come to the court, and they recite very proudly what they’ve been taught, ‘The Constitution is a living document.’ It isn’t a living document! It’s dead. Dead, dead, dead! No, I don’t say that. … I call it the enduring Constitution. That’s what I tell them.”

2008, Wyoming State Bar: “The Constitution means today what it meant when it was adopted…”

2005, Scalia article “God’s Justice and Ours: “…the Constitution that I interpret and apply is not living but dead – or, as I prefer to put it, enduring. It means today not what current society (much less the Court) thinks it ought to mean, but what it meant when it was adopted.”

2004, University of Vermont: “You may find that the dead constitution is to your liking. I can package it better than that. Let’s call it the enduring constitution.”

2000, Texas Wesleyan University School of Law: “The Constitution does not change in its meaning. What it approved back in 1789, or 1791 if talking about the Bill of Rights, it approves of now. What it forbad then, it forbids now.”

In fact, Ms. Tsiaperas could have done what Dallas Voice reported Anna Waugh did in her article: Report what Justice Scalia said a little later during his SMU appearance:

“It’s an enduring document, not a dead one. …The idea of a living document is so contrary to democratic self-government. I can’t believe how it has come to be so widely accepted.”

I’ve no idea why Ms. Tsiaperas didn’t include this in her story. Perhaps it was a tight deadline, a heavy-handed editor, or some other reason. But, in light of Justice Scalia’s history of being an “Originalist”, and concerns regarding the constitutionality of President Obama’s Affordable Care Act, gun control, and possibly illegal aliens, her omission is glaring.

* Google: scalia constitution dead

Thanks for reading!

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