Tom Brady’s “in da HOUSE”!

After “winning”* the AFC Championship Game when the Baltimore Ravens missed a seemingly easy field goal with 11 seconds left in regulation, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady admitted:

“I sucked pretty bad today, but our defense saved us.”

Well, he better not suck during the Super Bowl – he’s gonna need the $78,000 Winner’s Bonus to pay for the chlorine he’ll need for the swimming pool and moat attached to his fargin’ $20 Million dollar house in California for him, his wife, and their 2-yr old son: That’s 22,000 square feet of living space for three people! In China, this would probably be one of the dormitories for “The Glorious People’s Most Excellent Precision Manufacturing of Light-Duty Electronic Assemblages Facility #124, Road 33, Lane 12, Alley 48, Unit 2, Shanghai LLC”, and house about 1,000 workers hot-racked in two 12-hour shifts.

I don’t begrudge the Brady Family’s new domicile, his (extremely) attractive wife, or their success: I say “Good for them!”. I’m sure they both worked very hard for what they have and deserve it. Still, his house is rather shabby compared to this mansion being built, mostly underground, near London for person(s) unknown.

*Let’s not kid ourselves, Pats fans (and I’m one of them – I remember going to watch them at Schaefer Stadium): The Ravens lost that game more than the Patriots won. Baltimore was picking Julian Edelman apart during their last drive, and missed a winning touchdown twice before missing a game-tying field goal. Had it gone to overtime, I guessing Tom would be swimming in his new pool by now.

Thanks for reading!

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Marcus T. Cicero for President!

In the spirit of individual freedom, responsibility, and decisiveness, I thought I’d let USA Today tell me which candidate to vote for courtesy of their handy “Candidate Match Game“. Based on my “open and honest” responses, it appears John Huntsman, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney best match my answers, in that order. (Huntsman? I don’t think so…)

Unfortunately, and predictably, Republican candidates have once again forgotten the two most important rules when trying to defeat a Democrat President: (1) “Thou shalt not speak ill of any Republican.” (California State Republican Party Chairman Gaylord B. Parkinson’s “11th Commandment“), and (b) Nominate “…the most conservative candidate who can win.” (aka: “The William F. Buckley rule“).

The result? Everyone’s picking on everybody else for being “too” something:

  • Mitt Romney? – Too Mormon for his Business Acumen!
  • Newt Gingrich? – Too Conservative for his Baggage!
  • Ron Paul? – Too Looney for his Prescience!
  • Herman Cain? – Too Conservative & Successful for his Ethnicity!
  • Rick Perry? – Too Medicated for his accomplishments!
  • John Huntsman? – Too Texan. (No good President ever came from Texas)
  • Michelle Bachman? – Too Republican for her Femininity!
  • Donald Trump? – Too Egotistical for his Ostentatiousness!

While the remaining Republican hopefuls verbally eviscerate each other in debate after endless debate by holding themselves to moral, ethical, and political standards that few very few almost no Democrat could ever come close to meeting, I propose another candidate for the Republican nomination for President: I say “Cicero for President!” Cicero? Yep, Marcus Tullius Cicero, the Roman soldier, statesman, official, and philosopher. His skills cover finance (quaestor), public works administration (aedile), justice official (praetor), chief magistrate (consul), and former chief magistrate (proconsul).

In my book he’s a natural – I can easily imagine his stance on a variety of important issues facing our country today:

On Freedom of Speech:

“If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.”

On Teachers Unions?

“The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.”

On Morality:

“What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. The mere act of believing that some wrongful course of action constitutes an advantage is pernicious.”

On Politicians

“Politicians are not born; they are excreted.”

On Majorities:

“In a Republic this rule ought to be observed: That the majority should not have the predominant power.”

On Over-regulation:

“The more laws, the less justice.”

On Wealth Redistribution:

“The men who administer public affairs must first of all see that everyone holds onto what is his, and that private men are never deprived of their goods by public men.”

On the Electoral System:

“Nothing is more unreliable than the populace, nothing more obscure than human intentions, nothing more deceptive than the whole electoral system.”

On Lawyers:

“According to the law of nature it is only fair that no one should become richer through damages and injuries suffered by another.”

On President Obama?

“It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.”

“It is the nature of every person to error, but only the fool perseveres in error.”

“The mansion should not be graced by its master, the master should grace the mansion.”

“He cannot be strict in judging, who does not wish others to be strict judges of himself.”

“Study carefully, the character of the one you recommend, lest their misconduct bring you shame.”

On Barack Obama vs. George W. Bush?

“I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.”

I’ve even considered some possible catchy slogans for Cicero’s Presidential Campaign:

  • “Put the “C” in “Democracy”!
  • “Looking Back. Moving Forward.”
  • “Even dead I’m Better than Obama.”

Sure, aside from Cicero’s own writings, we may not know too much about his personal life, such as school transcripts, legal clients, or medical, financial, or senate records – but, that shouldn’t stop you from supporting him, as the precedent has already been set by President Obama.

And, I’m not worried if Cicero doesn’t get the nomination – I’m already considering a backup choice.

Thanks for reading!

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MLK Day Civil Rights Pop Quiz!

(Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik…thanks!)

In the spirit of celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Birthday I thought it might be nice to have a short quiz covering all the great strides made on behalf of the black community by the Democrat Party.

It should be a very easy test: I’m sure the kids were already taught about civics & history in public school, and they did have an entire extra day off to study the material 😉

Don’t worry, though, this pop quiz won’t be graded – think of it as an exercise in “self-enlightenment”. Oh, and why not review this quiz again when Black History Month arrives in February?

Discover your knowledge: Click here to take the quiz!

Thanks for reading!

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The Best Christmas EVAH!

Even though my Christmas 2011 didn’t have the selfless love of my Dad and Granddad building an Erector Set bridge across my bed on Christmas morning when I was contagious with the flu, the surprise of discovering Santa left me a Stingray bike under the tree, the nervous excitement of catching under the mistletoe the cute, curly-haired, pug-nosed Irish Catholic girl I was pining for, or Mom’s unbelievably good cooking, it was still the best one ever. In fact, each of my Christmases were the best ever, as every one included the true gifts of the holidays: Family, friends, love, generosity, and God.

And while I (thankfully) didn’t receive any of the excellent gift suggestions I made before the holidays, I did receive a couple of gifts I feel compelled to share with my loyal reader(s):

Kino Video's "Hell's Highway" DVD

I'm Ridin' with Mr. Death!

It’s claimed the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, although after watching this 2-disc DVD by Kino International you’ll be convinced it’s also paved with the deformed bodies of (mostly teenage) drivers who thought they were (a) Speed Racer, (2) not too inebriated, and/or (b) completely unaware of Sir Issac Newton’s First Law of Motion. The “True Story” documentary covers one man’s crusade to make everyone a responsible driver, with the bonus disc containing three original, uncut Driver’s Ed films and other extras. My recommendation? Watch the Driver’s Ed films before the documentary: While the documentary claims we’ve evolved from using “shock value” to change the behavior of youth to using more emotionally considerate techniques, that doesn’t change the grim reality of many automobile accidents.

J&D's Bacon Pop, Box Front image

Bacon flavored popcorn?!? Fantastic!

Growing up I remember my dad saving the breakfasts’ bacon fat and using it to cook popcorn in a hot frying pan on the stove top: It was wikked good! Well, two guys named Justin & Dave have recaptured that great taste experience with “J&D’s bacon pop®” – if you can find it (at a reasonable price… apparently, mine was pretty expensive), pick some up and relive or discover a taste combination I personally rate right up there alongside peanut butter & chocolate, Almond Joys®, and lobsters with drawn butter.

Oh, and their motto is “Everything should taste like bacon.” I really think they’re on to something wikked good here!

Update, 02/04/12: Wash down that great-tasting bacon flavored popcorn with Jack-in-the-Box’s new “Bacon Shake”! It’s for real, and for a limited time only at participating locations. Horray!

Thanks for reading!

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Merry Christmas!

I’ll keep it short and sweet:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!

Please excuse me now while I attend Church to thank God for His gift and my blessings (all the gifts that really matter, courtesy of Him), open a gift or two from Santa, prepare some last minute food and gifts, celebrate Xmas with family, and then settle into a comfy couch Al Bundy style… perhaps after a few minutes of playing a game of Super Mario something or other on the Wii.

Thanks for reading!

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My Tablet and Yvou

Recently, I added a new Android Tablet to my collection of electronic geekware – I was curious to own one, everyone seems to have one, and the price was right. Sure, it’s not an Apple iPad, but based on my needs it’ll provide about 95% of the iPad experience for less than half the price: Just like my MicroMini “Hackintosh” desktop computer ;-)

I’m still learning all the features (A universal remote control? HDMI out? It slices AND dices?!? Cool!), but so far I’m quite impressed. Except with the small “instruction manual”, which is little more than a few pages showing how to initially set up the device: The full User’s Manual is stored on the tablet electronically.

Based on this page from the instruction manual, I suspect the proofreader’s tablet wasn’t connected to the internet while (s)he was checking it for errors:

(click image to enlarge)
Vizio Vtab1008 Instruction Manual, Page 3

Oversight or clever joke, it doesn’t matter – I’m laughing just the same. However, I was a little less impressed with their omission in the full User’s Manual stored on the tablet itself: “Connecting to a computer via USB“… especially when it involves connecting to an Apple computer.

Thanks for reading!

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