Standing Up for Viral Humor.

Working from home has me sitting down quite a lot so I took a break and worked on my Standup Comedy for a little bit. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

  • I asked a woman I like if she wanted to be intimate and she replied “Sure, as long as you keep at least 6 feet away.”
  • While in my local big department store I noticed a man wearing a gun but not a face mask, and I asked him…(feel free to select one of the following punch lines)
    • “Aren’t you afraid of catching the virus?”, and he said “From who?”
    • “Are you here to purchase ammo?”, and he said, “No, I’m here to rob the place.”
    • “Haven’t you heard? Our state’s ‘Social Distancing’ rule also applies to ammunition.”
  • I invited a woman to share my bedroom and she said “Didn’t you hear? The CDC said we shouldn’t be in close contact for more than 5 minutes”. To which I replied “Oh, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”
  • My friend reported they’ve been drunk on vodka since the COVID-19 pandemic began. “Depressed?”, I asked. “No”, he replied, “I’m trying to see if I can kill it from the inside.”
  • Before my girlfriend stopped by for a “visit” she asked me if I had protection. I said “Do I need it?” and she said “Yes, on your face and hands.” “Are you THAT worried about catching the virus?”, and she answered “No, I’m worried about your face and hands.”

Thank you very much, you’ve been a great audience, I’m here occasionally, and I’d say “Try the veal marsala, it’s excellent!” but all the restaurants are closed. ;-)

Thanks for Reading!

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We’re “Warriors of the Wastland”, Said Frankie

While taking my convertible out for a 90 mph excursion leisurely jaunt along my billboard-straight, nearly level, mostly empty multi-lane highway I heard this song on my stereo and thought…

It’s Frankie

…who may have figured out how the World works “way back” in 1986:

Warriors of the Wasteland- Frankie Goes to Hollywood
(excerpt, from the album “Liverpool”)

“It seems to be that the powers that be
Keep themselves in splendor and security
Armored cars for our megastars
No streets, no bars, your wealth is ours!
They make the masses, kiss their assets
Lower class jackass, pay me tax take out the trash
Working for the world go round
Your job is gold, do as you’re told
They pay you less then run for Congress…”

That song sure brought me back to a simpler, more optimistic, happier, Conservative time.

And, I noticed this version of the lyrics left out the last two lines of the song, which hopefully won’t be the most relevant to today’s viral situation:

“We’re rats in a cage
Suicide a go-go.”

Made me wonder if the band was prescient or simply familiar with history.

For those who want to reminisce, or discover the 1980′s anew, here’s the official 1986 music video “Warriors”, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood:

Thanks for Reading! (And, thank you, Frankie!)

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Former FBI Dir. Comey Sings “The Perjury Trap”

For those of you who don’t know, back on January 24th, 2017 President Trump appointed Genera Michael Flynn as National Security Advisor to the President, a job he resigned from twenty days later after being accused of misleading White House officials about a meeting he had with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

(BTW: I’ll digress with purpose here: If you already know the story, or just want go to directly to “The Perjury Trap”, just click here)
Continue reading

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Musing While Staying Indoors…

After obeying my state’s “Stay Indoors” edict for the past few weeks, I got to thinking:

Can’t wait to go outside without mask or gloves

Anticipating the day when I can see friends and acquaintances

Need some entertainment outside of my place

Definitely thankful to still be working

Indebted to Mom and all her encouragement

Car wants its’ top down and the speed limits broken

Excited that you saw this posting.

Perhaps someone will look closely at my musing and smile ;-)

Thanks for reading!

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中国撒谎。 人们死了。

The title says it all, but it bears repeating:

中国说谎。


人们死了。

Just in case it doesn’t say it all,  click here for more information.

Perhaps later we can say:

特朗普揭示了中国隐藏的内容。

Thanks for Reading!

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Of the Package An Embarrassing Situate

Last year, during an overnight weekend at the Casino with my friends, I realized I forgot my toiletries, and stopped by one of those “dollar-or-less” stores on the way to restock.

While browsing I noticed this handy little device for a car, cellphone, or tablet (and, it was on sale, two for a buck…but, I digress). However, it was the description on the back that really caught my eye…and had me laughing out loud.

Here’s the product, basically two little “legs” which fit into your car vent to hang small items from, or act as tiny feet for your phone or tablet when used as a pair:

Caption: Looks Handy Enough!

AUTO Hanger Packaging, ReverseCaption: And, descriptive!

…and, here’s its’ directly-translated-from-Chinese English description (click here to see the actual packaging, or just click the right-hand image above):

“Although the car has been designed a variety of shelves, dark lattice, but for the car for the family star. Only these places are far from enough to install things, especially those with the take with the small pieces, too. Sunglasses, data lines, car keys, etc., after the car is often readily lost, get off again. Can not find the change of this embarrassing situate, a small accessories came into being.

AUTO HANGER shape design is also very simple, one end is a common hook, while the other end “Two legs” inside the use of corrugated design, using the same with the outlet of the black design. Caught in the car air conditioning outlet, you can help you put almost all carry a small piece of car. Use it to the slightest sense of the feet will not have two AUTO HANGER at the same time use, but also as a mobile phone stand.

Made in China.”

As Jedi Master Yoda would say “Laughing, was I!

Thanks for Reading!

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