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How to Tell Time in my Town

Posted on December 19, 2012 by museman

Why use a body in orbit, sundial, water, hourglass, clock, wristwatch, cellphone, or Uncle Sam to tell the time when you can use this handy method reported by an acquaintance of mine?

How to Tell Time in my Town

4:30 AM –	Woken up by hellacious, knock-down-drag-out argument in the upstairs apartment. If the couple waited until 6:30AM I wouldn’t need my alarm clock.
5:15 AM –	Re-awoken by some import car in the parking lot sputtering to life after 20 seconds of hard cranking, followed by several revs to 5,000 rpm, and finally incessant valve lifter ticking and cylinder missing sounds while the driver turns the radio up loudly to mask the impending death of his engine. (If the arguing couple were more reliable I could throw my alarm clock at the car.)
5:30 AM –	Unidentified man spends 10 minutes picking through dumpsters for bottles and cans before realizing someone beat him to it.
6:00 AM –	Non-resident throws his trunk full of unknown junk into the dumpster to save the haulage fee, drives off.
6:30 AM –	Traffic jam in downtown as no-one wants to sit on the nearby interstate: Naturally, there’s not a cop in sight.
7:00 AM –	Retired old guys light first obnoxious cigars of day, polluting the downtown common; this continues until dusk.
7:01 AM –	Garbage Truck driver knows it’s illegal to collect before 7:00AM in a residential neighborhood as he releases the air brakes and bangs the dumpster against the truck 10 times to ensure it’s completely empty.
7:15 AM –	Scofflaws stop by bodega around corner for first round of scratch tickets, fruit-flavored cigars, and a 40-ounce “soda”.
7:30 AM –	Scofflaws arrive at the downtown common to hang out and occasionally push their luck at (illegal) panhandling.
8:01 AM –	The Supervisor’s assistant knows it’s illegal to use loud machinery before 8:00AM in a residential neighborhood as he starts the lawnmower / leaf blower / weed whacker / power tool.
8:10 AM –	Congregational Church bells ring 8 times, tower clock indicates 9:10 (By the way, Catholic Church towers don’t have clocks)
8:30 AM –	Downtown traffic jam clears up just in time for duty cop to arrive and “direct traffic”. Parks cruiser on side of the main street, completely blocking one of the two travel lanes.
8:50 AM –	The Boss loudly reminds me I’m late for his 9:00 AM group meeting that he neither previously scheduled nor announced.
9:15 AM –	It’s time to meet my Boss’s impossible demands within his unrealistic schedule while correcting his mistakes and covering his butt.
12:29 PM –
12:30 PM –	In lunchroom, Boss sits down to discuss work just as I’m about to start lunch.
12:55 PM –	Boss reminds me lunch is only 30 minutes long and that eating lunch at my cubicle is against company policy.
1:00 PM –	(See 9:15 AM – no sense repeating it here)
6:30 PM –	(See 9:15 AM – no sense repeating it here)
7:00 PM –	During my walk through the local mall I’m amazed at the number of people in pajama pants, jeans below their butts, untied sneakers, and backwards-facing baseball caps*. After not finding any tasteful clothes in my size, I may understand why.
10:00 PM –	The people in the upstairs apartment are too busy arguing to either turn down their stereo spewing out some kind of rap music at 104 decibels or realize it’s illegal to engage in “loud activities” in a residential neighborhood after 9:00PM
11:00 PM –	The shockwaves emanating from just-legal exhaust pipes of an flawless Harley Davidson announce the arrival of its’ imposing rider to his girlfriend’s place for the night.

*it’s called “sagging“. Or, “How is this fashionable?!?”

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Environment, I'm Laughing!, Ramblings | Tagged Habits, Humor, Society, Time, Values | Leave a comment

Recaptured: My OSX Screen Capture

Posted on December 18, 2012 by museman

I use Screen Capture on my Hackintosh to the point where it’s become instinctive. So, imagine my surprise when I suddenly received this cryptic error yesterday during my latest screen capture attempt:

“Your screen shot can’t be saved.
Unable to create type string.”

By golly, that’s both cryptic and non-instinctive (although, nowhere near as cryptic as Apple’s old “Type 11” error).

If you don’t use an Apple computer, or you’ve purchased AppleCare*, you can stop reading right now. Otherwise, read on:

After doing a little cursing and hair-pulling investigative diagnostic work I finally managed to restore the Screen Capture function. Below are the steps I tried, in nice tidy procedural order. Remember, this is provided for informational purposes only and comes with no guarantee whatsoever. After duly noting my disclaimer, read on:

Restoring Screen Capture on Apple OS X: Procedure

a) Is the Desktop locked?

Go to: Finder –> Go –> Desktop –> Get Info
Click the “General” tab.
Uncheck the “Locked” box (it may be necessary for an Administrator to unlock the Get Info panel first).
Attempt to take a Screen Capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

b) Have the Keyboard Shortcuts Preferences changed?

Go to: Apple Icon –> System Preferences –> Keyboard –> Keyboard
Click the tab “Shortcuts“
Click the button “Restore Defaults“
Attempt to take a Screen Capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

c) Does the Screen Capture Preferences file have a problem?

The Screen Capture’s Preferences file is located in ~/Users/<user>/Library/Preferences, where <user> is the specific name of the User, and called “com.apple.screencapture.plist”.

Restart the computer
Attempt to take a Screen Capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

Launch Terminal.app
Type: defaults write com.apple.screencapture type png
Hit <enter> to modify/create a screencapture.plist
Quit Terminal.app
Shutdown and Restart the computer
Attempt to take a Screen Capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

Open folder ~/Users/<user>/Library/Preferences
Does file “com.apple.screencapture.plist” exist?
If it does, skip down to: “If that fails:”
If not:

Use Terminal (or, TinkerTool or OnyX) to see if the file is invisible and to make it visible. (NOTE: After making the file visible, make sure any files that should be invisible are restored to invisibility!)
Restart the computer.
Attempt to take a screen capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

Drag file “com.apple.screencapture.plist” to the trash.
Restart the computer.
If the computer has multiple users, log into an account other than yours. OR: If you are the computer’s only user, create a new user and log into that account.
Open Terminal
Type: defaults write com.apple.screencapture type png
Hit <enter> to create a screencapture.plist for that account
Log out
Log back into your main account
Go to the folder ~/Users/<new account>/Library/Preferences
Copy the file “com.apple.screencapture.plist” from the other account into your folder. (An Administrator may need to turn on privileges (apple+I) to get to the other account’s preference folder.)
Attempt to take a Screen Capture (Ctrl + Shift + 3)

If that fails:

It may be necessary to perform a “Clean Install” of OSX, which will require actual experts: See here for some guidance from Apple.

*or, get free tech support from one of your children

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Computers, Technology | Tagged Computers, Howto, OSX, plist, Process, Screen Capture, Troubleshooting | Leave a comment

Check Out my Huge Package!

Posted on December 18, 2012 by museman

Ok, so maybe the headline’s a bit too sensational and exaggerative – but, I was told I might attract more readers if my headlines were less esoteric or obtuse, and what better time to find out?

You see, after opening my package of “Ubiquinol CoQ10” manufactured by Factor Nutrition Labs I marveled at it’s sheer length and girth; to wit:

Man, talk about a really impressive package! (or, excessive, depending on your point of view)

Now, I’m sure “Ubiquinol CoQ10″ is a perfectly fine product that works as advertised, and I appreciate its’ packaging might be necessary to accommodate FDA, anti-theft, automatic packaging machine, or Marketing Department requirements. Still, I find the packaging for “Ubiquinol CoQ10″ just a bit, well… “ubiquitous“.

Here’s hoping the same doesn’t hold true for your Xmas gifts.

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Are You Kidding me?, I'm Laughing!, Ramblings | Tagged Fail, Health, Humor, Marketing, Packaging | Leave a comment

Pray for those Innocent Children!

Posted on December 15, 2012 by museman

Too busy working this morning , I didn’t find out about the mass shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, CT, until I went out to lunch and checked the Drudge Report. It was a shocking, heinous, and cowardly act, made even more reprehensible by the death of innocent children. My heartfelt and sincere sympathy goes out to the families of all the victims of this tragedy, and I pray that God helps them to eventually find solace in the happy memories of their departed.

Sadly, there’s already been a number of calls, particularly among Liberal Democrats, for “meaningful action“, “stricter gun laws“, or the outright banning of automatic weapons* – calls sure to increase in both number and intensity during the coming weeks. It may turn out that some additional regulations might actually be needed, and I’m glad to live in a society where our First Amendment allows individuals to voice their opinions, participate in lively debate, and assemble with others to communicate a well-considered position. And, where our Second Amendment gives us the right “…to keep and bear arms…”, to protect Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness.

However, before anyone considers tighter, possibly onerous, gun control laws a fait accompli, consider the following chart:

It’s definitely an eye-opener, despite my forgetting to add Deaths by Influenza (about 30,000 per year). And, once again, it exposes the Hypocrisy of the Liberal: Restricting the right of women to not only kill innocent babies but to do so at taxpayer expense is an “attack on women” and a slippery slope whose eventual result will be a return to the dark ages of back alley procedures… but, restricting the Second Amendment to prevent the killing of innocent people is not only acceptable, but both necessary and overdue. (BTW: The number shown for Legal Abortions is almost certainly too low: Unlike gun deaths, reporting abortions to the CDC is voluntary)

Personally, I apologize for this blog entry: Rather than engage in political rhetoric or emotional hyperbole on gun control, this is a time to pray, hope or wish that the innocent victims are in a far better place and, more importantly, that their earthly survivors find their own spiritual “better place”. However, after a suitable and respectful period of mourning and reflection, I hope Liberals will appreciate the hypocritical nature of their anti-gun stance, Conservatives will remember that even Constitutional Amendments can be amended, and both will view gun control in it’s proper context.

* Which the United States had from 1994 to 2004 – and, apparently, provided “…insufficient evidence to determine the effectiveness of any of the firearms laws or combinations of laws reviewed on violent outcomes.”

Thanks for reading!

Posted in Environment, Politics, So Wrong! | Tagged Abortion, Disturbing, Health, Newtown, ObamaCare, Regulations, Rights, Values, Violence, Weapons | Leave a comment

Micawber’s Christmas Spending Advice

Posted on December 14, 2012 by museman

A perennial piece of advice (and especially during the Christmas season) is to spend within your means, as Wilkins Micawber advised David Copperfield in the Charles Dickens story of 1850:

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”
Charles Dickens, “David Copperfield”, 1849, English novelist (1812 – 1870)

The painfully obvious way to heed this advice is to reduce spending – something you’ve got more direct control of – rather than increase income.

Unfortunately, if history’s any indication, it’s a lesson seemingly lost on some Democrats who must believe every day’s Christmas and they’re Santa Claus: Consider the following “Budget Deficeit Timeline” – thoughtfully adorned in the red and green of the season – and see if you agree:

1982	“In 1982, [Republican President Ronald] Reagan agreed to increase some excise taxes on a promise from [Democrat] House Speaker Tip O’Neill that every dollar increase in tax revenue would be matched by 3 dollars in spending cuts. Famously, O’Neill reneged.” Source: “How Reagan Was Compromised“, Richard Grant, 9/02/2012, Forbes.com
1990	“In 1990, President George H. W. Bush was promised [by Democrats] two dollars in spending cuts for every one dollar in tax hikes. He fell for the bait and violated his Pledge to not raise taxes. After a $137 billion tax hike, spending actually rose by $22 billion.” Source: “Reminder: President George H. W. Bush Regretted Raising Taxes“, Paul Blair, 07/13/2012, Americans for Tax Reform
1992-2000	“In his eight years as President, Clinton reduced federal spending to 18.2 percent of GDP from 22.1 percent, thanks in large part to a Republican-controlled Congress that forced the issue…The real debate over deficits…[is] how to get back to Clinton-era spending levels, and then create a tax system that will adequately fund it.” Source: “Clinton’s Spending Cuts—Not His Tax Hikes—Worked“, Edward Morrissey, The Fiscal Times, 12/05/2012
1945-2013	“What both the statistical tables in the “Economic Report of the President” [page 411, see here] and the graphs in Investor’s Business Daily show is that (1) tax revenues went up — not down — after tax rates were cut during the Bush administration, and (2) the budget deficit declined, year after year, after the cut in tax rates that have been blamed by Obama for increasing the deficit.” Source: “Revenue was up under Bush tax cuts“, Thomas Sowell, The Columbus Dispatch, 12/04/2012
2012	“…[President Obama] is proposing at least $1.20 of tax increases for every dollar of proposed spending cuts. The President’s [2013] budget locks in historically high spending levels and relies more on tax increases than spending cuts for the limited deficit reduction it proposes.” Source: “The ratio of spending cuts to tax increases in the President’s budget“, Keith Hennessey, keithhennessey.com, 02/13/2012

Are we once again on the verge of believing Democrats are going to give taxpayers exactly what they want for Xmas? Heck, the Democrats aren’t even willing to give us coal.

Frankly, I’d rather believe in Santa Claus.

“Hell is truth seen too late – duty neglected in its season”
- Tryon Edwards, Theologian (1809-1894)

Update 12-31-12: “$1.20 of tax increases for each dollar of proposed spending cuts”? Try $41.00 of tax increases for each dollar of spending cuts! Think any of this new revenue will go to deficit reduction?

Update 01-03-13: “We [Republicans] gave a $1.2 trillion debt-ceiling increase for $1.2 trillion in cuts [by Democrats], and we aren’t even getting those cuts.” – Rep. Dennis Ross (R-FL)

Thanks for reading!

Posted in History, Politics, The Economy | Tagged Budgeting, Charles Dickens, Democrats, Economy, Fiscal Cliff, History, Micawber, Spending, Taxes | Leave a comment

The Holidays are a Time for Giving (II)

Posted on December 12, 2012 by museman

Well, once again it’s that time of year to indulge in Christmas shopping, Christmas music, Christmas decorations, Christmas cookies, and, thankfully, Christmas eggnog. That’s right, readers: “Christmas“, not “Holiday”.

In the spirit of the holidays (I just remembered gifts are also given during Chanukah, although I have no idea how to use a dreidel*), and to celebrate McDonalds® finally bringing back their McRib® sandwich (for a limited time only, or until their bottom line improves, whichever happens first), I once again present a short list of gifts that I don’t want to receive under any circumstance I’m considering for my closest relatives and friends. No need to thank me if this helps with your shopping during the “holidaze”… you’re very welcome!

My 2012 Holiday Gift Suggestions
	Bacon Flavored Candy Canes! How do you make a classic Christmas candy icon even better? Two words: ADD BACON! The tasty combination of sugar and bacon will have you running around the house like a squealing pig for hours. It’s sheer genius, and so obvious I’m amazed someone didn’t think of this decades ago! Order them here, or if you’re very lucky you may find them at your local Urban Outfitters or Newbury Comics.

	Instant Spiced Eggnog Mix Call me a purist, but Christmas wouldn’t be complete without a cup or two (or 10) of my brother’s “Holiday Eggnog“, complete with cholesterol-reducing cognac (medicinal, of course!) and just a sprinkle of nutmeg on top. However, for those of you too busy shopping, partying, or parked under the mistletoe to concoct my brother’s specialty, try some of Chifley’s Spiced Eggnog Instant Mix – perfect for turning an excellent cup of cold milk into an average cup of spicy eggnog. Find it in the “gourmet food aisle” at your local Dollar Tree.

	Kilt Bath Towel It’s a gift sure to keep your “Inner Scotsman” happy…or, at least dry. Made from 100% cotton and large enough for the generously-sized guy, it retains all the modesty and visual impact of a “genuine kilt” while actually performing a useful function. And if you think this is stupid, click the link to see who agrees with you.

	Sour Candy Toothbrush Unlike Bacon Candy Canes – a pairing that ranks right up there with peanut butter & chocolate and Creamsicles® – why somebody thought of this combination is completely beyond me…unless that “somebody” happens to be a Dentist. Indulge your sugar craving, improve your puckering skills, and erode your precious tooth enamel all at the same time! Whether it also discloses dental plaque is unknown.

	State Lottery Tickets During the “holiday season” I’m bombarded with State Lottery Commission ads on television, radio, billboards, and every convenience store counter about how happy your friends will be with you if you give them some as a gift . Ok…so the State Lottery Commission believes my friends would be happier to receive a $10 lottery ticket having about a 75% chance of being 100% worthless instead of receiving a $10 bill with a 100% chance of being worth $10? With logic like that, no wonder my state’s broke!

	3D Vision Glasses If you’re already in the Dollar Tree looking for Chifley’s Spiced Eggnog Instant Mix (or that last minute, “thoughtful” gift), why not pick up a pair of “3D Glasses”? Enhance the visual experience of your burning “Yule Log”, or don them during the traditional “carbohydrate nap” between dinner and dessert. As an added bonus, the fun doesn’t stop after the holidays are over: Continue using them throughout the year to view comic books, 1950′s movies, or budding masterpieces, or to evoke sympathy from strangers after you suggest they’re corrective lenses.

	Electronic Yodeling Pickle It’s the product you didn’t know you didn’t need: Unless you’re tired of hearing that Swiss horn player (and now, cell phones) announce “Ricola!®” or looking for something other than a multitude of bagpipes to strike fear in the hearts of an approach enemy (as if the “Kilt Bath Towel” wouldn’t be enough). It’s also great for innuendo… but, I digress. Seems this product’s been around since at least 2008, so my apologies for not including it in last year’s list.

	Composition Book Tablet Cover What better way to make a $400-$600 iPad look like a $2.99 Elementary School composition book than to encase it in a $60 folio cover that looks just like a…well, you know. Oh sure, it’s far less expensive than a $700,000 sapphire-and-diamond-encrusted case, but if the intent is to disguise an iPad so that no one would consider stealing it, why not get a case that looks like a smashed iPad?

	Classic Match Foosball for iPad Sounds great in theory: Combine the coolness of a classic bar room game with the latest in geek technology. And, it sure looks like the people at New Potato Technologies did a fantastic job. But, to be honest, I don’t think I’d want four mid-20′s, physically-fit, and possibly moderately drunk New York Jets fans venting their frustration on a $100 device attached to a $600 iPad that’s merely sitting on a table: Especially when it’s cheaper to simply buy a full-size regulation Foosball table from Sears.