At the request of my young relative we visited our local Burger King®, where he proudly showed me their new “Freestyle”® soda dispenser. Stylishly designed by Italy’s Pininfarina®, it’s offers “more than 100 drink flavors“ (it’s actually 125, brags the King).

After my young relative pressed a plethora of buttons to create a chemical concoction Nietzsche would admire, I proceeded to request a simple vanilla-flavored orange soda – only to discover no such option existed. I could enhance my orange soda with lime, lemon, cherry, raspberry — even orange — flavoring, but no, not vanilla.

One-hundred-twenty-five drink choices, but not the one I want? Sound like a soda fountain FAIL to me.

Once I resigned myself to a plain old cup of diet orange soda (tasty, but the absence of sugar gave it a “thin” mouth feel – perhaps a little more Glycol Ester of Wood Rosin might help?), I couldn’t help but wonder how they overlooked such an obviously classic taste combination: After all, various competitors already offer it in the bottle, at their fast-food locations, and as a delicious frozen confection.

I’m betting lawyers have something to do with it. Regardless, I’ll contact BK to see if their brain trust can remedy the situation

Thanks for reading!